D.Rudžinskaitė: “Pasaulietė” is like an X-ray that revealed painful social problems | Culture

“Pasaulietė” is a story about the liberation of a girl who grew up in a family of Jehovah’s Witnesses from psychological, physical and spiritual violence. The book tells about the power of self-belief and hope in an honest, frank, sometimes ironic way.

Growing up in a family of Jehovah’s Witnesses, Deimantė believed that the end of the world was on the brink, so together with her mother, she spread the “good news” in the streets of Šiauliai and in the stairwells of apartment buildings: when Armageddon comes, Jehovah will invite all people devoted to him to his kingdom. True, Deimantė also knew that paradise has a price – complete separation from lay people, people who do not believe in Jehovah, and their supposed satanic influence.

The girl’s loneliness was exacerbated by the fact that she could not tell anyone about the horror she was experiencing at home – the violence of her mother and father, like the scourge of God, every time she disobeyed the strict rules. Later, the fear turned into anger and teenage rebellion: the girl was not afraid to change her appearance, run away from home… In the long run, resistance to her parents and their faith became life-threatening.

We are talking to the author of the book exactly one month after the publication of the book, after the second edition of the book went to the printing press. What changed during this month, what reactions did the author of the book receive and what surprised her the most?

Readers will be able to meet the author on October 24. in the Ieva Simonaitytė public library of Klaipėda county, and on October 26 At the literary festival “Open boloks” in Vilnius, and now we invite you to read the interview.

– Diamond, it’s been a month since the book came out. How do you feel about that time: ONLY a month or EVEN a month has passed?

– There was joy, stress, anger, euphoria, and completely calm days. A lot happened in my life, so I will always remember September 2024 as a month with a capital letter.

– During that time, the presentation of the book took place, “Pasaulietė” appeared in bookstore windows, on the bestseller lists, readers are already sharing reviews. What has changed and what did you not sense before the book came out?

– I wrote this book for all children who are abused in any form in their close environment, so I am extremely happy that “Pasaulietė” has reached people’s hearts. However, I did not expect to receive so many letters and messages with confessions about similar experiences – it is quite an emotional charge that encourages me to continue to act. A book about the problems I was running from became my ticket to a world of even bigger problems. I thought that after publishing the book I would move away from painful topics, but it is the opposite: you want to use the voice that the success of the book has given you without waiting for anything. I am very happy that journalists, TV presenters and podcasters work together with me, see the great meaning of talking about topics that have been taboo until now, and give me a platform to speak out.

– The second edition of the book will soon reach bookstores, and an audiobook is planned. I ask frankly: did you expect such success, that the book would be so favorably received?

– I sincerely hoped. The publishing team gave me the most hope: I kept thinking that they wouldn’t have worked on my manuscripts for so many years if they didn’t believe in the book’s success. I remember once, when I was wondering how everything was taking so long, my creative editor Eimantė Liubertaitė said: “Come on, Deimante, there are endless masterpieces of literature written for decades.” Of course, we laughed, but I liked her enthusiasm. I constantly felt the interest of future readers in this unconventional story, followers on social networks kept reminding me that they were eagerly waiting for the book. Even when I felt these signs, I tried to calm myself, not to raise too high expectations. All happiness – there was no disappointment. I can’t express my joy and gratitude that my work was appreciated – I put all my heart and energy into the book.

I did not expect to receive so many letters and messages with confessions about similar experiences – it is quite an emotional charge that encourages me to continue to act.

– What do you think resonates most with people in your story?

– We are a very closed nation, full of proverbs about dirty laundry. We are instilled that reputation is more important than truth. People long for certainty. Readers are shocked that the information found in the book is not fiction: they are only a few tens of kilometers away from the narrator of “Pasaulietė”. I get the most praise for my openness. It turns out that people like to live in a fairyland where everyone is happy and successful. Violence, alcoholism, extremism, rebellion, lack of education – these are real problems familiar to many, and my story is a social X-ray that revealed them.

– The message that you carry and sincerely broadcast in your book – children have no place in religion – sounds clear and is widely heard. I say that because I just heard people talking about it in the bar. And do you feel heard?

– So far, it seems that not all people understand me correctly. For example, Catholics enjoying “Pasauliete”. He reads and is happy that their faith is much more correct than the sect in which I grew up. Much to their dismay, I did not write this book to compare which religion is cooler – on the contrary, I believe that they are all equally harmful to human development, the formation of his opinion and critical thinking.

– How would you answer those who sometimes ask directly, or sometimes slyly, how much of the story you tell in your book is related to Jehovah’s Witnesses, and how much you are simply sharing the painful experience of growing up in a potentially dysfunctional Lithuanian family of the 90s?

– I don’t quite understand why the question should be raised here: it is obvious that my story connects both the backstage of the organization of Jehovah’s Witnesses and toxic relationships in the family. I know that the readers are most shocked by the cruelty of the parents, but if it were not for the religious background, this book would not even exist – we know about the problem of violence, but no one has talked about the harm of religious upbringing until now.

If someone asked me what traumatized me more – violence or living according to radical religious attitudes – I would answer without even blinking: religion. Violence deforms the body, but wounds heal quickly. But religious upbringing deforms the mind. Often the effect is irreversible. It was this experience that made me a prisoner in my own head, and getting out of there was much more difficult than escaping physical abuse.

– The performance of “Pasaulietė” is a step that required your great openness. You’ve said more than once that openness is your superpower now. But the price of openness is vulnerability. How does that make you feel? Looking back, do you think you could have done something differently?

– I wouldn’t change anything – I’ve already kept quiet enough. Silence, isolation and hypocrisy brought me only pain. Now I’m in a perfect position to talk to the public about uncomfortable topics, so who else but me? Many people have experienced terrible things in their close environment, but, protecting the relationship and trying to justify the behavior of their parents, they do not dare to talk about it out loud. I haven’t had a family for a long time, so I have nothing to lose.

– Or maybe “Pasaulietė” was a therapeutic book for you too, that is, the process of writing it was no less important than the content and message?

– Writing was really an invaluable experience that helped me identify what ingredients I am made of. All in all, this book made sense of the unremarkable first part of my life, an ode to a kid who was in a hurry to grow up. But, I must admit, I would not have decided to write a book just for fun. I was inspired by the thought that I was carrying out a certain social mission.