16 years ago, the perfect man contacted Helga Grotheer. Steve Thomson, 50 years old, a single father and road construction engineer living in London. His wife: sadly deceased.
The alleged engineer was sensitive, attentive and patient. At some point, Helga Grotheer was communicating with him daily. On the phone or by email, never in person. But it still felt real.
“I was in love with him,” says the now retired woman in an interview with FOCUS online. When she had to take an exam at the Hanover Chamber of Commerce and Industry, her supposed boyfriend called and wished her good luck.
Helga Grotheer has fallen in love with a fraudster
Table of Contents
- 1 Helga Grotheer has fallen in love with a fraudster
- 2 No nationwide recording of romance fraud
- 3 “I even know police officers who have fallen for the scam”
- 4 Grotheer founds forum for love scam victims
- 5 A woman lost 700,000 euros
- 6 Grotheer has a mission
- 7 These patterns help those affected to recognize romance scams
- 8 Grotheer finds two things particularly bad
- 9 Here are some PAA (People Also Ask) related questions for the title **”Romance Scams: A Growing Concern in the Digital Age”**:
But the relationship didn’t remain so carefree. At one point, Steve claimed he had to travel to Nigeria for a project. “He said something had gone wrong at customs and asked me for money. That made me skeptical.”
By chance, Grotheer discovered Steve’s email address in a so-called scambaiter forum – a site that warns about scammers. The pensioner now knew that she had fallen for a romance scammer. She was shocked.
Love scammers are criminals who use fake profiles on dating sites or social networks to look for victims. They design their fake profiles to appear successful and attractive, often with stolen pictures. They initially shower their victims with compliments and pretend to be in love.
At some point, problems arise. An unexpected hospital stay, a robbery, an arrest on a business trip. The victim, who has now developed a bond with the fraudster, is asked to help out. “Anyone who has paid once can immediately prepare for the next demand,” says Grotheer.
No nationwide recording of romance fraud
It is difficult to quantify how many people in Germany fall victim to romance fraud every year. The Federal Criminal Police Office (BKA) wrote in response to a request: “The police crime statistics do record the criminal offense of fraud, but the specific form of romance fraud or ‘romance or love scamming’ is not listed separately.”
In principle, the cases mentioned are recorded by the respective state police. However, a look at individual federal states shows that “romance scamming” is a major problem.
On the Website of the Bavarian Ministry of the Interior It is said that in 2023 alone, love scams caused damage of more than five million euros – with just over 450 reported cases. State Criminal Police Office of Saxony reports 368 love scamming cases and total damages of around 4.6 million euros.
So much for the official figures. However, experts also assume that there is a high number of unreported cases. People who have fallen victim to an Internet fraudster do not always report it to the police because they are ashamed. It is therefore likely that far more people are affected by “love scamming” than is currently known.
“I even know police officers who have fallen for the scam”
Helga Grotheer attributes several factors to the fact that people are willing to financially support people they only know online. “The scammers’ profiles are well-made and the information is accurate,” she says.
“In addition, all the victims I have come into contact with have a helper syndrome. Many of them are not stupid, quite the opposite. I even know police officers who have fallen for the scam.”
Grotheer has gone from being an unsuspecting victim to an expert. When she realized that “Steve Thomson” was only after her money, she started to fool him. She and her friends filled out fake transfer forms and sent pictures of them to the fraudster. He was happy at first and later wondered why the money never arrived.
“After a few months, I told Steve that I knew he was a fraud. I asked him to show himself. And he did,” says the pensioner. Steve was actually a 34-year-old student from Nigeria, or so he claimed.
It would certainly be plausible. After all, Nigeria is considered a love scamming hotspot alongside Ghana, Togo and the Ivory Coast. After “Steve” was exposed, he blocked Helga Grotheer and she could no longer contact him.
Grotheer founds forum for love scam victims
The pensioner is still haunted by her experience with a love scammer. During her contact with “Steve” she founded her own forum, which is called „Romance Scambaiter“.
Those affected can contact Grotheer and her volunteer team. Access to the members’ area costs a one-off fee of four euros. Those who have been granted access can create a post with all the information they have about a potential scammer – such as photos, text messages, social media profiles. Grotheer and her staff will then take a close look at the whole thing.
They try to find out, for example, where the profile pictures of a supposed fake account come from. The “romance scambaiters” use expensive image search programs for this. It is only a small part of their work. The group also reports fake Internet sites.
Because “love scammers” are clever. Grotheer remembers a scam in which fraudsters set up fake online banking pages. They give the victims the access data to their alleged accounts. “Then they are supposed to make transfers. Of course, the accounts are always full,” says the pensioner.
A woman lost 700,000 euros
“The next day, the fraudsters remember that they forgot to make a transfer. They ask their victims to log into their account again – which no longer works.” The result: The victim is asked to advance money and pay the supposedly outstanding bill.
From her conversations with those affected, Grotheer knows how high the financial damage can be for those affected by love scams. “I know a woman who lost 700,000 euros to a love scammer – and still believes him,” says the pensioner.
Grotheer had tried to provide information. To show the woman that the photos on the profile were from a well-known Danish presenter. That he publishes many private photos on Instagram, which of course can also be accessed by fraudsters. Grotheer even arranged a phone call with the presenter’s wife.
But in the end, the woman didn’t want to believe her. “She thought she was really writing to the moderator. And she told me that I was only seeing scammers everywhere.”
Grotheer has a mission
Grotheer knows that her options are limited. But it is important to her to inform people about romance scamming and to save as many people as possible from broken hearts and empty bank accounts.
In her forum, she publishes email addresses, pictures and account numbers of known fraudsters. She also writes to scammers along with more than 15 other women. Her goal is not only to keep the fraudsters busy, but also to arrest parts of their network.
For example, arranging money transfers and having the couriers arrested by the police. “Although only a few end up behind bars, we have already made more than 70 arrests,” says Grotheer.
When she speaks, it becomes clear that she has a mission. “It’s completely fine to meet someone on the Internet. Some people have fallen in love, gotten engaged, and gotten married that way. But you should be careful – especially when familiar scam patterns emerge,” she says.
These patterns help those affected to recognize romance scams
The central office of the police crime prevention of the states and the federal government on the website “Police Advice” summarized.
According to this, romance scammers often communicate in good English: “Insiders assume that around 95 percent of English-speaking contacts on German dating sites are romance or love scammers.”
The images used can also be a clue. According to “Police Advice”, female fake profiles often show scantily clad women, while male fake profiles often show men in uniform.
When romance scammers talk to their victims, they usually quickly end up making “sultry declarations of love,” the prevention website continues. The conversations often also involve God. But perhaps the most important thing is the last clue: scammers ask for money at some point.
Grotheer finds two things particularly bad
Helga Grotheer also warns against this: “Never transfer money to people you have never met in person. Never give your account details to strangers or post them on the Internet.”
The question that remains is why, despite all the warnings, despite all the reports about “love scamming” and a bad gut feeling, so many people fall for love scammers. Shouldn’t a friend request from a complete stranger on Facebook, Instagram or Linkedin make you suspicious?
This point makes Grotheer sad. “There are different reasons why people get involved with romance scammers. Some have just retired and suddenly have a lot of time on their hands. Some have lost their partner and feel lonely,” she says.
“I find two things bad: that people who are already in a psychologically exceptional situation are being exploited. And that not only their money is being taken away from them, but also their trust in others.”
Romance Scams: A Growing Concern in the Digital Age
In the digital age, online dating has become a popular way to connect with others and find love. However, with the rise of online dating, romance scams have become a growing concern. Romance scammers use fake profiles on dating sites or social networks to target victims, often using stolen pictures and profiles that appear successful and attractive. Their goal is to gain the trust of their victims, showering them with compliments and pretending to be in love.
The Story of Helga Grotheer: A Victim of Romance Fraud
Helga Grotheer, a retired woman, fell victim to a romance scam 16 years ago. She met ”Steve Thomson,” a 50-year-old single father and road construction engineer living in London, on a dating site. Steve was sensitive, attentive, and patient, and Helga was swept off her feet. They communicated daily, and Steve even called her to wish her good luck on an exam. However, the relationship took a turn when Steve claimed to have a problem at customs and asked Helga for money.
The Reality of Romance Scams
Romance scammers often use tactics like Steve’s to gain the trust of their victims. They create fake profiles, use stolen pictures, and shower their victims with compliments. Once they have gained the trust of their victims, they ask for money, often under the guise of an emergency or unexpected expense. As Helga Grotheer said, “Anyone who has paid once can immediately prepare for the next demand.”
The Impact of Romance Scams
The impact of romance scams can be devastating, both financially and emotionally. According to the Bavarian Ministry of the Interior, love scams caused damage of more than five million euros in 2023, with just over 450 reported cases. The State Criminal Police Office of Saxony reported 368 love scamming cases and total damages of around 4.6 million euros. However, experts believe that the number of unreported cases is high, as victims often do not report the incidents due to shame or fear of ridicule.
Prevention and Support
So, how can we prevent romance scams? The Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) advises individuals to be cautious when interacting with people online, research the person’s photo and profile using online searches, and be wary of claims of instant love or requests for money [[3]]. Additionally, the Texas Capital Bank suggests doing a reverse image search of the person’s profile picture to see if it appears elsewhere online [[2]].
When it comes to support, a personalized approach is merited to tackle the issue, as argued by CREST Research [[1]]. This includes providing resources and support to victims, as well as educating the public on how to prevent romance scams.
Conclusion
Romance scams are a growing concern in the digital age. It is essential to be aware of the tactics used by scammers and take steps to prevent falling victim to these scams. By being cautious, doing our research, and seeking support when needed, we can reduce the impact of romance scams and create a safer online environment for everyone.
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