When Nicholas Montemarano’s parents were diagnosed with covid a few days before Christmas in 2020, he was more worried regarding his father, who had preexisting conditions.
The doctor gave Catherine Montemarano, 79, steroids and antibiotics and sent her home, but her fever rose and she was admitted to an Indiana hospital on New Year’s Eve.
But by Jan. 6, 2021, the doctor summoned the family. Nicholas Montemarano drove 600 miles from his home in Lancaster, Pa., worrying regarding his mother as the insurrection unfolded at the U.S. Capitol. For a while, her health seemed to improve, but soon doctors were recommending palliative care.
On Jan. 15, doctors allowed Montemarano and his twin sister, a nurse, to blanket themselves in personal protective equipment and be there for the final day of their mother’s life.
“I just cannot imagine how much harder it would have been and would still be if we were not able to be with her,” he said.
The family held a Mass with 10 people, including his wife and son. A legal secretary, a Catholic and devoted grandmother of three, Catherine Montemarano supported foster children around the world, writing them letters and sending photos.
Months later, he learned of the flags project from a virtual support group and registered one online, writing, “We miss you, mom.” and drove to D.C. with his family.
He began to cry as soon as he approached the installation and saw the death toll sign, and he didn’t stop until he found her flag.
“It was almost like I was visiting my mother’s grave,” he said. “It gave us tangible space and a place for collective mourning.”
They sat in the grass, taking in the one public place where he might shed tears without anyone wondering why. “They all knew,” he said.
Until his mother’s death, Montemarano, a creative writing professor at Franklin & Marshall College and novelist, wrote almost exclusively fiction. In less than a month, he found himself with a memoir.
He said writing the book, “If There Are Any Heavens,” published in July 2022, helped him to heal.
“For people who lost a loved one, we’re never going back to normal,” he said.
An Analysis of Collective Mourning and Healing
In this emotionally touching narrative, Nicholas Montemarano shares his experience of losing his mother to COVID-19 and the profound impact it had on him and his family. The story encapsulates the pain, loss, and grief that many families have faced throughout the pandemic.
Montemarano’s journey showcases the importance of being able to be with loved ones during their final moments, highlighting the devastating impact of restrictions and lockdowns on families worldwide. As the COVID-19 pandemic continues to evolve, the implications of such experiences resonate deeply with those who have lost someone dear.
Beyond the personal aspect, Montemarano’s story also sheds light on the power of collective mourning. The flags project, which allowed him to honor his mother and find solace amongst the sea of tributes, illustrates the need for tangible spaces where individuals can come together to grieve and remember their loved ones. In a time of immense loss and sorrow, these communal spaces provide comfort and a sense of connection in a world filled with isolation.
Moreover, Montemarano’s transition from fiction to memoir writing serves as a testament to the transformative power of creative expression. Writing his book, “If There Are Any Heavens,” became a therapeutic process for him, allowing him to navigate through his grief and find healing in the midst of an ongoing global crisis. This shift in his writing genre mirrors the changing landscape of literature and art influenced by the collective trauma experienced by many individuals worldwide.
Looking ahead, this poignant story prompts us to consider the long-lasting effects of the COVID-19 pandemic on society and human experiences. The need for collective mourning spaces and outlets for creative expression will likely continue to emerge as essential elements of healing and recovery. As we navigate a post-pandemic world, it is crucial for communities to prioritize these aspects of human connection and support.
The profound impact of Nicholas Montemarano’s narrative reminds us of the resilience and strength of the human spirit in the face of adversity. As we move forward, it is our collective responsibility to create spaces and opportunities for healing, connection, and remembrance.
