/cloudfront-eu-central-1.images.arcpublishing.com/prisa/W4CCVU4AQFBONP3PEL5Z474C5A.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1)
Conchita Satorres was looking for a roommate in Barcelona. This is always a complicated process, but even more so when you are 91 years old and your last roommate was your husband. When Conchita became widowed, she began to withdraw into herself. And in her apartment. “She almost didn’t go out,” she admits. “The little time I had with Edith [su cuidadora], well he went to the street with her. But then she left me alone, on the weekend or in the followingnoons.” Sharing a flat might be a way to break that dynamic, she thought. Instead of placing an ad in Idealista, Conchita went to the Roure Foundation, a Catalan NGO specialized in older people. She told them that she was signing up for the intergenerational coexistence program. After several interviews with the psychologist, a Mexican girl with some suitcases appeared at her door. Her name was Carla Argentina and she was 30 years old. At first they greeted each other politely and it seemed strange, they were still two strangers. But as the months passed, they gained confidence. Three years later, both say that they are not roommates, they are friends. Family.
In recent years, different intergenerational coexistence programs like this one have become popular in Europe, which are based on superimposing two very different problems. On the one hand, the difficulty of access to housing and youth precariousness. On the other hand, the unwanted loneliness of older people. At the intersection of these realities, thousands of people live together in Spain: they may not share cultural references or generational codes, but they share a life and an apartment.
And that is a positive thing. Intergenerational friendship had not been widely studied from the point of view of psychology and health, but in recent years, different studies have pointed out its bidirectional benefits. A 2019 meta-analysis noted that intergenerational programs significantly reduced ageism among younger participants. Another, from 2021, explained that older adults experience a reduction in the number of falls and frailty, and an increase in strength and balance. A latest meta-analysis also noted a lower rate of depression among participants.
In reality, these programs have not invented anything new. “This is version 2.0 of the old extended family, in which grandparents and grandchildren lived under the same roof,” explains Andrés Rueda, social gerontologist and director of ASCAD. And the extended family, he points out, is a form of anthropological evolution of the tribe, as groups of people living together. “The evolution towards the nuclear family broke this type of tribal and extended family coexistence, especially in cities or large population centers. But genetically we are programmed for intergenerational coexistence in a natural way.”
But beyond our genes, the reality is different. In 2022, more than five million people lived alone at home, according to the National Institute of Statistics. This figure has increased by almost 20% in the last 10 years, and the forecast is that it will continue to do so at an even higher rate. There is no family model or type of home that grows so strongly. In an increasingly individualistic and aging society, unwanted loneliness will be one of the great problems of the future. And this has catastrophic consequences.
A recent study in the journal BMC Medicine claimed that older people who do not receive visits have a 39% greater chance of dying than those who do. Human connections keep them active and promote healthy habits. Programs like that of the Roure Foundation serve as a dam to this trend. “We are a social animal by nature and that includes the coexistence of young people with older people,” explains Rueda. “But all this needs a certain format, certain conditions.”
The conditions in the case of Carla and Conchita were clear. The young woman would not pay rent and in exchange she would keep the old woman company for at least two hours a day. Three years later, affection and coexistence have eroded the rigidity of that contract. “Carla has been a blessing,” says Conchita. “Because I can go out with her, she takes me out to sunbathe, to eat, sometimes we go shopping… She really likes dresses, jackets and I advise her.” The coexistence between them is similar to that which occurs in any home. At first there were differences because of what was shown on television. Conchita always put on TV3, “especially the news, which in this house is sacred,” says Carla. She didn’t understand Catalan and she didn’t care regarding Spanish politics. She liked house renovation programs or American series more. But by watching the news, Carla learned Catalan. From time to time she slips in some expression or turn of phrase that draws attention in the middle of a speech delivered with a marked Mexican accent. Conchita also began to get hooked on some series that her new roommate liked. Watching TV became a shared pastime. Something similar happened in the kitchen, where one taught the other how to cook the typical dishes from her land.
Carla admits that she became interested in this program due to economic conditions, but later she found a friend in Conchita. Her case is paradigmatic, explains Rueda: “Coexistence initially arises out of convenience or crossed interests. Then, from there, the friction and mutual knowledge creates affection that leads to a coexistence that goes beyond the initial, very material nature.”
Intergenerational coexistence programs began to be developed in Spain more than 25 years ago and have multiplied, from large cities to medium-sized ones. Currently, there are 16 programs spread throughout the territory. One of the first was Convive, an initiative that has been active since 1995 and through which more than 1,800 cases have passed. The psychologist Marcos Böcker is responsible. “In a society with more precarious ties, practices are required that encourage encounters and relationships between people of different generations,” he explains in an email exchange. “In the face of loneliness and fragmented social ties, intergenerational experiences can contribute to generating feelings of belonging, recognition of the social value of all people and mutual enrichment in general,” he points out. “And this would hardly be found naturally, without active promotion.”
At first, these programs were understood from charity, putting the elderly in a situation of inferiority, but experience has shown that this type of coexistence is enriching for all those involved. “I try to contribute to Conchita, but she also contributes to me,” explains Carla, who claims to have learned not only regarding history and cooking, but also how to live in a different way. To take things easy and enjoy the tranquility of being at home.
In these years, he has also become aware of certain social prejudices regarding the elderly, of ageist dynamics of which he was not entirely aware. “We have a look that infantilizes and disables older people,” she points out. “There is a tendency to say that ‘they are like children.’ And not. They are adults with their personalities and ideas, even if they are physically impaired. Many older people reach 90 with their cognitive capacity intact. We forget everything we can learn from them.”
