2023-12-04 04:21:06
Envy is as basic as it is harmful. In this article we will teach you the appropriate attitude if you detect that someone around you is projecting this feeling.
Knowing how to act if someone is envious of you is one of the most useful lessons to learn. Feeling envy is human and natural, but its consequences can be very harmful. Therefore, to avoid it, it is important to know how to handle this emotion.
It is said that “there is no better contempt than not appreciating”, but it is not as easy as it seems. It is easy to get caught up in the intensity of envy and for a common situation to sometimes end up beyond our control.
With all this in mind, below we show you the main causes of this feeling and how to behave when someone projects envy.
Where does endive come from?
Before acting, it helps to know where this feeling comes from. It is true that its causes are multiple, there is not always an exclusive reason. Therefore, we will mention those reasons that are most common.
In general terms, it is an emotion that is produced by not being able to possess what the other has, whether material goods, qualities or anything tangible or symbolic. The perception of injustice or inferiority is the most immediate trigger. And the main signs that reveal someone who is jealous, generally, are the following:
· They criticize in public.
· They use sarcasm.
· They always want to stand out.
· They are happy regarding your failures.
· They compare achievements constantly.
· In moments of triumph, they disappear from your life or celebrate you with hypocrisy.
On the other hand, it is important to differentiate envy from jealousy, which is considered positive and also from negative ones. According to research published in the Suma Psicológica Magazine, benign envy motivates people to improve, with the aim of reaching the position they want; while in the evil one, the stimulus is aimed at disqualifying and discrediting the envied person.
Strategies to act if they are envious of you
Now that we understand what envy is and where it comes from, the next task before us is how to act when it is triggered and we become its victims. To do this, we will focus on what is considered evil envy. Keep reading and learn with these tips.
Communicate the situation assertively
There is no disagreement that cannot be resolved with the right words. Therefore, the first step to resolve uncomfortable circumstances is to talk to the person involved. While this may seem obvious, it is not so obvious, since finding the appropriate words and tone is important.
In this sense, your best allies are social skills and assertiveness. The goal is to find the balance between inhibited and aggressive communication. That is, express discomfort without downplaying its importance and avoiding doing so in a brusque manner.
An article from the University of Barcelona describes very well what assertiveness consists of: “Do not attack others and, if possible, do not allow others to be aggressive towards us.” Respect our rights, while we respect those of the other party.
This same article also points out that, when it comes to expressing oneself, words, tone and gestures matter. Pay attention to your non-verbal communication, and make an effort to make it consistent with the oral part.
Surround yourself with grateful people
Given the negative energy that many people give off, the most sensible solution is to change the environment. However, there are times when nothing can be done to transform people, nor the toxic atmosphere in which they are immersed.
In these cases, continuing to invest strength might feel like banging your head once morest a wall. That is why it is worth having a change of scenery and finding other companions who provide good energy. These types of people do not envy your achievements, but rather celebrate them. They show real interest in the good things that happen to you and not in a false way to criticize you behind your back.
Focus on your personal projects
When one is caught up in jealousy, it is common for the focus of attention to shift outwards. However, we must be careful because the envy of others can distract us and distance us from personal goals.
For some, there is no greater motivation than feeling that others are paying attention to what they do. Knowing that there are people who want to be like them makes them experience more strength despite envy, in order to continue improving their skills.
Therefore, do not feel uncomfortable if you are the target of someone’s jealousy, but rather feel grateful because you have something special. Go one step further and take it as an incentive to continue focusing on your positive qualities.
Give praise constantly, including yourself
Beneath each envious manifestation, what there is actually a show of admiration. What happens is that the way to express it is not through praise, but through contempt. One way to turn envy around is to act gratefully, both with others and with yourself.
Faced with negative feelings, praise the people around you. Give thanks for all the good they bring you and for the positive qualities they show. On the other hand, have those same behaviors with yourself.
Learn to value your attributes and virtues. Perhaps this is the part that you practice the least, but you should not leave it aside. Gratitude is a skill that you must learn, the more you put it into practice, the more it will become natural.
Overcome envy and don’t let it contaminate you
Being involved in the envy of another person is not pleasant at all. However, it is part of everyday life and it is something that can happen to all of us. That means that the best approach is not so much regarding how to avoid it, but rather what to do when it happens.
Remember that the envious reaction has nothing to do with you, but is an emotion that is projected onto you. In fact, research published in Cognitive Science Magazine highlights that low self-efficacy, self-esteem and the feeling of control are related to a greater number of aggressive responses, the result of this negative emotion. We recommend, above all, not to doubt yourself.
The Mind is Wonderful.-
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