2023-11-23 20:30:00
The company is generally a breeding ground for collaboration, the exchange of ideas and the establishment of common objectives. But it can also become the scene of less healthy dynamics, due to the presence of more or less “toxic” colleagues. How to identify those people who negatively affect the office atmosphere and can impact your career and/or your health ? Insights from Sylvie Chauvin, occupational psychologist at Moka.care and Mélissa Pangny, occupational psychologist.
Definition: what is a toxic person?
We all have colleagues around us who annoy us deeply. But these people are not therefore toxic ! As Mélissa Pangny reminds us… this term is terribly overused! Generally speaking, toxic people have a negative impact on the emotional lives and mental health of others.
Several revealing behaviors allow us to distinguish them, including emotional manipulation, constant criticism, excessive pessimism, jealousy, selfishness and even victimization. Mélissa Pangny distinguishes two main categories of colleagues:
- Those who are too intrusive by not respecting our space of tranquility, by bombarding us with questions or by constantly asking us because they lack a framework.
- Et those who are actively harmful by criticizing us, intimidating us, belittling us, excluding us from certain meetings, accusing us of professional misconduct, gossiping regarding us, etc.
“People who are too intrusive become toxic because they are often anxious and/or have difficulty remaining professional. They do not necessarily feel like they are creating inconvenience. On the other hand, people who act knowingly can sometimes go as far as moral harassment and intimidation with complete impunity”, underlines the expert.
Warning signs: what are the traits of a toxic person? How to recognize them?
As indicated above, there is not one type of toxic colleague, but rather different profiles which often demonstrate a amazing emotional detachment and are ready to do anything to achieve their goals, notes Sylvie Chauvin. The warning signs are numerous:
- your colleague frequently criticizes your ideas, work, or personality and devalues you without ever providing constructive feedback;
- your colleague shows excessive selfishnesshe or she is focused on his or her own needs and objectives, ignoring those of other team members;
- your colleague tries to manipulate situations to one’s advantagefor example by using misinformation or taking improper credit for your achievements;
- your colleague spreads rumors or gossipwhich can create a toxic work climate and destabilize relationships within the team;
- your colleague never offers you any support et openly mocks you(under the cover of humor or not), whether on a professional or personal level;
- your colleague shows false empathy and you notice a significant gap between his way of being in public and in private;
- your colleague pushes competition to an unhealthy level and seeks to actively harm others by more or less directly sabotaging the work of others in order to shine more;
- your colleague frequently changes moodhe or she shouts, screams, throws objects, etc. Which complicates collaboration and creates a climate of tension;
- your colleague refuses to take responsibility for his mistakes, victimizes oneself et constantly blames others ;
- your colleague isolates you by deliberately excluding you certain meetings or certain corporate events;
- etc.
What are the risks of being around a colleague with toxic behavior?
You should never underestimate the potential for nuisance from your colleagues! The consequences can unfortunately be devastating for your well-being, your physical health and even your career, note our experts…
- Obviously, constant interactions with a toxic coworker can generate stress and anxiety.
- Chronic stress can have consequences on physical health: sleep disorders, headaches, gastrointestinal problems, etc.
- Negative comments and critical behavior from a toxic colleague can also contribute to a decline in self-esteem and self-confidence.
- A toxic work environment can hinder productivity (making irrational decisions, difficulty concentrating, forgetfulness, errors, etc.).
- Victims can feeling isolated and illegitimate within the group. They thus become demotivated little by little and lose interest in their work.
- Negative interactions with a toxic colleague can also affect your relationships with other team members…
- Finally, toxic behaviors can potentially harm your professional reputation, increase the risk of workplace accidents and negatively influence your career.
It is absolutely essential to take steps to avoid these risks, whether by establishing clear boundaries with your colleague, seeking support from your superiors or human resources, or even considering changing teams or positions. department if the situation becomes unbearable. The priority is your mental well-being and your health at work! Sylvie Chauvin.
Should you ignore a jealous or manipulative person? How to manage this toxic work relationship?
Ignoring a Jealous or Manipulative Coworker won’t get you anywhere… Except perhaps burn-out… “Avoidance strategies only work for a while and are only not a long term solution. In a collective, we cannot always escape,” insists Sylvie Chauvin.
And to specify: “There are three main reflex reactions to conflict: freeze, fight or flee. But to move forward peacefully, we must also learn to show assertiveness to express what we feel without hurting the other”. In other words, there is no point in fleeing or crushing oneself out of “fear of conflict”, iWe must confront the people who poison our daily professional lives to find solutions!
How to react to destabilize and neutralize a malicious person at work?
First of all, it is necessary take the time to analyze the situation, insists Mélissa Pangny: What exactly is bothering us? For what ? Since when ? Am I the only person affected? Can my situation be linked to my tolerance thresholds, to my own limits? Or is the other really crossing the line?
“If the person in question annoys you to the highest degree but does not particularly target you and does not slow down your professional progress, you just have to accept that you can’t get along with everyone“, notes the psychologist. But if the colleague in question is actively harmful, you must take more radical measures to preserve your well-being and your professional development…
- Identify toxic behaviors et set clear boundaries with the person concerned: be firm regarding what you are prepared to tolerate or not.
- If you need to interact with your colleague, keep communication as professional as possible and stick strictly to exchanges that are essential for work.
- Seek advice and support with your supervisors, your CSE members or your human resources. “You can also confide in trusted colleagues, but it is better to avoid creating gossip in your turn,” notes Mélissa Pagny.
- Document toxic behaviors (in compliance with the law), this may be useful if you later need to discuss the situation with the person in question, with superiors or human resources managers.
- If the previous measures do not work, request a confrontation in the presence of a mediator, your supervisors or your human resources.
- According to seriousness of the situation and the possibilities for action, you may consider requesting a change of department, project or even position within the company. And if the situation does not improve despite all the steps, why not seriously look for a new job…
- Finally, do not hesitate to consult a mental health professional for additional support. And, when necessary, consider take legal action (moral harassment or sexual harassment, violence, etc.)
In summary, what to do depends on the severity of the situation and your own comfort!
How to deal with toxic people ?
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