2023-11-11 16:00:10
Maternity of Bluets, Paris 12eDecember 20, 2022, 2:40 p.m. Claire Loizeau, the midwife asks me if I want to help my future child ” to go out “. I mechanically grab my daughter’s slippery, purplish body, exulting to my wife: “She’s here, look!” She’s there ! » The latter, officially a mother for a few seconds, has just accomplished the feat for which she had prepared in recent months with another midwife, Eva. She had provided her with valuable advice during the consultations which punctuated the pregnancy. During this preparation, I was told that I would be useful, and that my role would be to be ” here “. Being present, for men, has become a « obligation », even if“it remains difficult to find your place”recognizes the sociologist Béatrice Jacques, who devoted a chapter of her thesis, Sociology of childbirth (PUF, 2007), in the place of fathers during this very special event in life.
But hey, I managed. I held, supported, accompanied, reassured, massaged, fed, warmed, cuddled and admired. I’m a little proud of myself: at no point did I panic. Calm, serene, stoic. I almost feel like a hero, and of taking part in a moment from which men have been excluded since time immemorial.
I was wrong.
Certainly, for centuries, « the woman gave birth at home, in a familiar space, surrounded by more or less expert companions”writes historian Marie-France Morel, president of the Birth History Society, in an article devoted to the history of birth in 17th century France.e au XXe century. But, since the Middle Ages in any case, there is, strictly speaking, no d’“prohibited on the presence of men and fathers”, his colleague, Emmanuelle Berthiaud, tells me, citing among her sources the writings of doctors, or even certain texts by Mirabeau, Michelet or Zola. She still evokes this anonymous – and disturbing – painting showing a childbirth in France, around 1800, where the father is clearly involved.
But then, where does this cliché of the nervous and idle future father come from, smoking cigarette following cigarette, like Tucker Cobblepot, rich and sad father of the future Penguin, in Batman, the challenge ?
In the first edition of the extremely famous work by Laurence Pernoud, I am expecting a child (Horay, 1956, republished many times since), the author provides some advice to future fathers. “Don’t nervously pace around the hallway biting your nails and smoking one cigarette following anothershe writes. Go for a little walk. »
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