2023-11-08 08:01:04
Camille Montaz, her fight once morest dermatillomania
For around fifteen years, Camille Montaz, a young woman aged 33, suffered from a little-recognized behavioral disorder characterized by repeated and compulsive picking of the skin. Today, she fights to bring it to light and help those who suffer from it.
A long time, Camille Montaz thought she was “crazy”. Mad to inflict all this mistreatment on her face, mad to promise herself to stop and yet continue. “I didn’t understand what I was doing and I was ashamed of it,” confides the 33-year-old young woman. I took it for a lack of willpower when it was an illness. My skin was my drug. »
Between the ages of 12 and 27, this communications consultant, who works freelance, was a dermatologist. This little-known psychological pathology is part of a group of disorders called “body-centered repetitive behaviors” (CRCC)., which are self-aggressive and impulsive actions leading to repeated manipulation of hair, nails and skin. Dermatillomania is thus characterized by behavior of repeated checking, triturating and/or scraping of the epidermis. These causelesionstissues and can have serious impacts on the quality of life of those affected.
For Camille, it all started during adolescence, with the appearance of acne. “ I started by piercing my pimples and blackheads and I saw relief in it, explains this native of Grenoble, who now lives in Annecy. Little by little, this activity took on more and more space. I once spent 3 hours in front of the bathroom mirror, trying to “smooth” my skin. And it became a ritual, a refuge to evacuate my discomfort. When we grind ourselves, we’re in a bit of a bubble, it’s almost like a trance. But when we come out of it, the repercussions are terrible. We realize to what extent we have ruined our face, we feel guilty, we wonder what lie we are going to invent to explain this…”
“Something that dominates us”
The disorder disrupts the teenager’s daily life and her relationship with others. When her skin is too damaged, she skips classes, gives up seeing her friends, avoids attention, hides behind her hair and makeup. “ I felt like I was missing out on my lifeexplains the one who also suffered from bulimia. After each crisis, I said to myself: “That was the last time” and at the time, I believed it. Besides, I sometimes took a photo of myself to remind myself of what I had done to myself. But that wasn’t enough to hold me back, because it’s something that dominates us. »
At the age of 20, she came across Facebook groups in English dedicated to “skin picking” and recognized herself in the testimonies. She then realizes that “derma” is not a “bad habit” but the symptom of an inner imbalance. It is thanks to the support of professionals – notably a psychiatrist and a psychologist specializing in behavioral and cognitive therapies – that she will be able to identify and better manage her demons (anxiety, excessive perfectionism, fear of failure).
“The first key to getting on the path to healing is to talk regarding it”, assures Camille, who knows that breaking away from this addiction is long-term work. “This disorder is a crutch and giving it up is not at all comfortable. But it is by learning to love ourselves once more that we can get there. Understanding yourself and your disorder better allows you to keep it at bay. »
” You are not alone “
It is also by helping others that Camille works to put these impulses at bay and gives “meaning” to what she has experienced. In July 2019, she created an Instagram account dedicated to dermatillomania. He currently has 23,000 followers. She also published a book*, self-published, which has sold more than 3,000 copies, and is teeming with projects (launching a podcast, leading discussion groups, offering training to health professionals, etc.) to continue to publicize this destructive pathology.
“This disorder is unfortunately quite characteristic of our society where pressure on appearance is very strong, especially for women, she analyzes. A lot of people suffer from dermatillomania without having said anything regarding it. If I had one message to send to them, it would be: “You are not alone and it is not your fault.” »
*My story with dermatillomania – getting over it is easy.
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