2023-10-22 11:00:00
Tomorrow or in a week, Véronique will know if her umpteenth treatment worked. If these combined antibodies “fixed well, if they were able to release the chemo and if this chemo is effective once morest my cancer cells”. She would like to believe it, the former superstitious person who, when she fell ill once more three years ago, said to herself that she wanted to live at least until 2023 “to see the French rugby world champions . Well, that’s dead…” She would like to believe it, she, the combative one, with a smile stronger than tears. But life has already taught him so many lessons.
A first misdiagnosed cancer
First there is this first breast cancer at age 52, misdiagnosed by the radiologist, who initially only sees a “small cyst there, but not very bad Madame Thiallier. But still, I would like us to do an ultrasound.” She is a doctor, she knows well “that a small cyst, with a cloudy liquid, is suspicious”. The echo, three months later, is not worrying for the radiologist who sees her once more. She insists but trusts: “If I start thinking regarding my colleagues…”. New mammo scheduled six months later. Let Véronique move forward:
“And then, bam, the bad news. It was the other radiologist who was there and when he saw the images, he had an emergency echo. He was even more unfortunate to have to tell me because he was my colleague and he saw that for six months I had been marinated.”
Puncture, result, announcement to loved ones. Véronique remains confident: “I had cancer, we call it grade 2 infiltrative ductal cancer, no metastases and a positive sentinel node but with a shell that had not burst, so it was reassuring. We removed it, along with everything that was around it.”
Pink October: “Only 40% of women are tested in Creuse”
And then, there is this treatment, radiotherapy and hormonal therapy in relay, and this impression that “it’s stupid eh, but that without chemo, we were perhaps missing something but, once once more, I I chose to trust…”. There are these pains that the oncologist does not take into account: “I was in a lot of pain, I coughed a lot, I told him several times but he told me that as I was a doctor, I might not just had to make my own prescription?! I did a chest scan: my lung was burned on the top.”
Remission, unexpected, and the pain which returns
And then the remission, unexpected, a year following the discovery of the cancer, and “this dear gentleman who tells me that everything is fine, that I am in remission. It’s great, I can return to work part-time therapeutically.” So when the pain starts once more, during the Covid era, Véronique puts it down to her back problems:
“I have osteoarthritis, scoliosis and then I’m in remission, right??”
And then a blood test: “The tumor markers had exploded. Fighting action, CT scan, scintigraphy, hospitalization for a bone puncture. In fact, I had metastases from the head to the sacrum, my entire skull was invaded, my jaw…”. Since then, Véronique has continued the treatments. “I’m on the fifth. They are effective for six months, if at all, and then my body goes into therapeutic failure. From August to May, I had one, I was fine, no more pain, my hair had grown back and when I did the PET scan in June: there were new metastases and old ones that were waking up. Since July, I have benefited from a new one, with Gustave Roussy (first cancer center in Europe, Editor’s note). I finished regarding ten days ago, spent my weekend in bed and now I’m waiting for the results. This is my journey, it’s cool, huh?? »
Anger, this need to be alone
Véronique’s tears are rare when she tells all this, regularly running her hands over her smooth scalp as if there were still hairs to put back in place.
“I was so angry following the tumor and lymph node were removed. I didn’t want to see anyone. And then, following six months, I saw a psychologist who was great, attentive, invigorating But when there was this recurrence, the anger came back even more intense. I was suffering so much that I just needed gentle presences, to be spoken to kindly regarding everything and nothing. Between the announcement of this recurrence and by the time I started treatment, more than six months had passed. That’s when I met the coordinating nurse attached to the League. And my anger turned into a need for encounters even though I’m rather wild.”
And Véronique opened the door to all these workshops offered by the League: gym, Nordic walking, sophrology, art therapy, well-being… Because the body has to follow “to cope with all these treatments, to be there Longer “. Because, above all, we need these times of envelopment and gentleness.
And then this need for others, for their gentleness
“What is important for us sick people is that others listen to us, not judge, with a kind look. With a sick person, you have to speak naturally. And don’t be afraid that she will talk regarding her cancer. I’m cancer from head to toe so obviously, I talk regarding it. Not to victimize me, not to attract pity but because it’s me. In the League workshops, I met three other ladies. We see each other, they are always very gentle with me, I know they are there, we do sewing together, we go to restaurants. There is a kind of flexibility, freedom of speech. Once the anger has passed, we have this need to verbalize, to discuss our feelings with people who can relate to them… We need these cocooning moments with patients who are not going to talk only regarding that. elsewhere. »
The Rose en Marche association supports Creuse women affected by breast cancer
Because, paradoxically, it is with people who are also sick that we “experience cancer better”??
“They are the only ones who live at the same pace as you, who speak the same language.”
Who know the value of a gesture, a word, an attention. Who do not have this awkwardness, this modesty, this embarrassment of the non-sick. “When you text someone who is sick, don’t ask them, “Do you want me to come by?” but “Can I pass??”. This simple formulation first shows that you are interested and that at the same time you are not intruding into the patient’s life. Yes, you have to be careful what you say and as they say, it’s very important because you may have twenty years ahead of you but I may only have six months… Don’t ask me if I need it, of course I need it, all the time… The people around you have seen you manage ten professional hats, your three children… and suddenly, pff, nothing. The image they have of you, anchored within them, is so positive and dynamic that they cannot realize it. But yes, we are no longer as alert, we don’t understand well, we have memory problems. »
And this circle which surrounds, comforts, supports
So enveloping him as she says, this gentleness and this confidence, Véronique found them in the League, yes, but first of all at home. Her three children, her husband, have also felt anger, perhaps even denial, but they are there, enveloping. “I am lucky to have my family who are very close, very precious friends and my little group from the League. » This is how she copes with treatments that don’t work, the mourning of a job she left, the hope that collapses, the pain that returns and the fatigue that overcomes her. With this “warrior” character. I am not someone who feels sorry for myself, I have always wanted to find solutions within myself, with what I might be given on the side to survive.”
“Here, I’m five years old. When I had my recurrence, I was 19 months old so it’s always a win. And then, each time, I have my little projects. This weekend , it’s a small restaurant with my husband. The following weekend, we have a wedding. I call my children, my son tells me regarding his concert in Brussels: these are little touches and I enjoy everything that. I draw, I paint…”
Supported by this circle of loved ones who are also learning to live with the illness.
“It’s really hard to support someone who is sick,” admits Véronique. We focus so much on our illness, we curl up so much on ourselves to keep all our strength to fight that we become selfish, self-centered. We send others away, we don’t listen to their concerns. There are so many things that have changed for me, I understand that my children sometimes have difficulty following me but they are so cool, adorable… We do cool things together. Look, we made these tattoos with my daughters: I’m the little bee, my eldest is the little whale and the little one is the turtle. With my son, we made giraffes. And at the beginning of my relapse, I took a weekend with each of my daughters. My son, he pushes back, he doesn’t give a date. It’s more complicated for him…”
“Pink ribbon” pasta made in Creuse to support Pink October
But it’s still another one of those little projects that Véronique clings to. “My next deadline is to be able to be at Christmas with my children. » This is her next “bright spot” that keeps her moving forward. Hold.
“There, I’m waiting for the results of this fifth chemo. If I should extend it or not. I don’t feel too bad so maybe… I have pain, yes, but I’m so damaged, I My bones are shriveled on top of each other. I’m waiting. I’m trying to enjoy every moment.”
The eye riveted on this luminous point…
Séverine Perrier
1697978622
#Heres #background #cool #huh #Véronique #cancer #toe #fights #warrior
