[전문] Kim Hye-soo “What is the meaning of acting? I failed to find the answer and ended up here.”

2023-09-24 11:46:18

[김지은의 ‘삶도’ 시즌2 : 실패연대기] Actress Kim Hye-soo

A star since his teens… An actor who has remained ‘top’ for 37 years
“Debut at a young age… “Time wasn’t mine.”
“I am an actor who is lacking regarding 20%, this is my uniqueness”

I met actress Kim Hye-soo at the studio of photographer Kang Young-ho in Mapo-gu, Seoul on the 8th. The third movement of Brahms’ Symphony No. 3 was playing in the studio. As she filmed him making various expressions, tears suddenly fell from his eyes. It must have been a mixture of certain experiences and music. This is why the eyes in the photo are moist. ⓒPhotographer Kang Young-ho

“It’s very dangerous.”

He declared this regarding his own history, not anyone else’s. Damn, he had a serious expression on his face. “You might mistake yourself for thinking you’re great.” What is that ‘dangerous history’?

Starring for 38 years. Since making his debut in the movie ‘Kambo’ in 1986 at the age of 16, he has appeared in 35 movies. The total number of viewers who have seen his films is 55.3 million. There are 47 dramas, not including special appearances. What is your award history? At the age of 23, she became the youngest winner of the Blue Dragon Film Awards for Best Actress for the movie ‘First Love’ (a record that has never been broken), won the Best Actress Award five times at the three major Korean film awards, and won the Terrestrial Channel Drama Awards three times for her dramas.

These are the footsteps of Kim Hye-soo (53), an actress whose name itself is a symbol. But what was important to him was not numbers or trophies. Every time he recited his history one sentence at a time, it was as if he was listening to someone else’s story.

“You said it was when you were twenty-three?” “Hasn’t the youngest record been broken yet?” “I won the Best Actress Award five times?” “You won the acting award three times?” Then she asked once more. “You mean this is my story?”

As you can guess from his reaction, he has never even reflected on the award he received. “I think it’s enough to feel the moment of receiving the award fully and truthfully.” It sounded like an effort not to expand the momentary joy into eternal intoxication.

So, what is the driving force behind his continued acting until now? “It was very important to find the answer to the meaning of this time I devoted most of my youth to and what kind of actor I really am. “Maybe he failed at that and ended up here.”

‘Yes, acting is done by people like that. I’ve worked really hard so far. There was a moment when I tried to turn away cleanly, saying, “This is enough.” But despite all that time, he still stands before us.

The joy felt in the process and Kim Hye-soo’s time growing using this as a driving force, this interview is regarding that. This is the chronicle of the time that created the qualifications of Kim Hye-soo. His attitude toward life, “The goal of life is growth, not success, and the important thing is attempt, not failure,” created the weight of the three characters in his name.

In fact, he smiled brightly, saying, “My body is heavy, but my name is light.”

◇Is his career successful or unsuccessful?

Except when organizing his thoughts or recalling memories, he spoke while looking the interviewer in the eyes. ⓒPhotographer Kang Young-ho

“I live today.”

(Drama ‘Hyena’, Jeong Geum-ja)

From the day before, he said, “I’m excited but nervous because I’m looking forward to the interview.” Doing an interview that focuses solely on yourself rather than your work is something that has not happened in the last 20 years at least. He said, “It’s been so long that I don’t even remember how long it’s been since I had an interview that wasn’t part of promoting my work.” Still, he is a top star with a long history who has lived as an actor known to the entire nation for 37 years. What is the secret to still maintaining the excitement of hearts?

I met him on the 8th. The interview was conducted at the studio of his old friend, photographer Kang Young-ho, in Mapo-gu, Seoul. It lasted for nearly 6 hours, including photo taking.

-I was surprised that you were nervous.

“I’m so childish, I am. But I was nervous regarding this interview. I really like communication. “The communication I want.”

-Not only is the track record of maintaining the ‘leading role’ for 38 years amazing, but the history you have built up over the years is also amazing. Moreover, there is no such thing as an unknown time. Looking back, is this history a success or a failure?

“It’s a very dangerous history. That’s a very dangerous history. If you just look at it at face value, he almost played the lead role, and he also holds a record for being the youngest person to break. How dangerous is a career that seems like it will never fail? “It’s a history that’s easy to mistake, a history that’s easy to be caught up in illusions.”

-But I don’t know much regarding the award history. Have you never counted?

“I’m not interested in leaving behind what’s mine. The trophy isn’t at home, it’s at work. The moment I receive an award, I am truly grateful. That moment is sincere. But that’s it. All I had to do was feel that moment truly enough. “I don’t give meaning to the past, whether it’s good or bad.”

Because the most important time to him is ‘this moment.’

Kim Hye-su, a fifteen-year-old girl. This is a photo taken with her co-star, actor Park Joong-hoon, in 1985, ahead of the release of her debut film, ‘Kambo’ (1986). Hankook Ilbo file photo

-I worked in over 80 movies and dramas over 37 years. Didn’t you act non-stop?

“In the past, I used to work on multiple works a year. It’s not obvious, but it seems obvious. Of course I didn’t design it. Should I say that my will was blocked? “There was a time when my will didn’t matter.”

-I wasn’t the master of time.

“Because I debuted when I was very young. If my will is cruelly lost, it’s as if I don’t exist. I went through that period for quite a long time. When I look back on my childhood, the most upsetting and regrettable thing was that my friends’ time and my time were different. Of course, I felt proud, but I also felt a sense of regret and anxiety. After (realizing that I mightn’t do that), I do every moment of my own will.”

-Is it because of those times that you learned the value of time?

“So desperately.”

He said that there was a time when he filmed a movie that he didn’t want to do, and that there was a time when he approached filming with an attitude that is unimaginable now. He still remembers the tears he shed because of that. It is a memory of failure resulting from losing control over my time.

His expression was also captured in his hands. Writer Kang Young-ho did not miss the moment of choosing a thought. ⓒPhotographer Kang Young-ho

-I was a celebrity from a very young age, so I guess I barely had any personal time.

“I also cut back on sleep. Because I live as a celebrity, I can’t use my time the way I want. Especially when I was young. So, if I don’t sleep less, I really don’t have time. So time is incredibly important to me. Even when I meet someone, I think, ‘How much of my time can I give this person, and how much can I be with them?’ Of course, the time you devote to work is a separate issue.”

-When did you start sleeping less?

“It’s probably been like that since the end of my second year of high school. I have to prepare for college entrance, but I don’t have time to study. I was able to stay up all night by scooping half of the instant powdered coffee in the container onto a spoon and pouring it into my mouth. I found out then that I was sensitive to caffeine. It was so exciting to not sleep and do what I wanted to do. I studied and read books, but I really liked being awake by myself even if I didn’t have anything to do. “It felt like it was ‘my time.’”

At night when the world was asleep, Hye-su, a girl who woke up alone and enjoyed her time, was portrayed. It is simple happiness.

-In terms of work, when did you become the master of your time?

“It’s the movie ‘Doctor K’ (1999). This is the first work I chose of my own free will. This is ridiculous since I am in my late 20s. There are people who do things with self-consciousness starting from the lower grades of elementary school. I was so slow at everything. Still, I’m glad I started even then. I don’t regret it either. “It was something I thought regarding for a very long time, hesitated, and had a lot of courage to do.”

Photographer Kang Young-ho, who was taking pictures, helped from the side. “We first met while filming a movie poster back then.” His eyes widened at Writer Kang’s words. “Oh my, really?” He and author Kang are close friends.

-Speaking of time, in a past interview you said something to the effect of, ‘If I were to quit being an actor, I would like to disappear quietly.’ Why is that?

“My life has been a bit turbulent, with unexpectedly good and bad moments. It may sound like luck, but ‘me time’ has been disappearing for some time. Of course, there are times when I am discreet and reveal it myself. Sometimes, even things that really shouldn’t be shared were forced to be known. It may be a selfish or naive thought. Depending on the need, I want to share these things and keep some things just for myself. Still, wouldn’t it be possible to dream of quietly disappearing while doing this job?”

◇Let go of failure

The interview was conducted at ‘Salon 99’ in artist Kang Young-ho’s studio. It is a space where lectures and meetings can be held, and is also a familiar place to actress Kim Hye-soo. ⓒPhotographer Kang Young-ho

“The only thing scarier than losing your chair at work is losing a colleague.”

(Drama ‘God of the Workplace’, Miss Kim)

-The public seems to have a strong image of ‘actress Kim Hye-soo’. However, there are bound to be no difficult times in life. Whether it is a failure at work or a failure in a relationship. How do you endure times like that?

“(Pointing to the scar on the forehead that appeared while filming the movie ‘Smuggling’) One day, a wound appears, and even if it is sutured and healed, the scar remains like this. When I look at a scar, it reminds me of the day I got hurt and I try to forget it. I realized that as I went through life. Just because you try to overcome or endure it doesn’t mean it’s possible. So let’s not try to forget the hurt. So I just let it go. But I don’t even pretend to be okay. At the most important moments, I am ‘me first’. If I’m tired, I crouch down. Why do you act brave when I’m dying from pain? And I have the sense to make this distinction. Perception to distinguish between when to blame yourself and when to face reality. “Thank goodness.”

-What have the hardships of life given you?

“You lose people, you gain people. Along with time, people are the most important beings. And (through those hardships) I came to know myself more clearly. “The moment a person falls to the lowest point, and the moment he shines beyond what he dreamed of, he realizes what kind of person he is.”

-In the movie ‘The Day I Died,’ there are lines like “There is no one left by my side” and “You are the only one left.” It’s a message of salvation, but has your work ever been salvation?

“What’s really interesting is that when you’re having a difficult time in your personal life, you shouldn’t even look at books (scripts or scenarios), but I mightn’t do that. When I receive a screenplay or script, it becomes a habit to quickly read it and give an answer. One of the books I read at that time was the drama ‘God at Work’. The script was really fun. That’s why I said I would do it. But in the end, I was very fortunate. Because once we start our work, there is a powerful force that prevents us from thinking regarding anything else. So, I survived while filming that drama. Even ‘God at Work’ was a comedy.”

He received the grand prize at the 2013 year-end ‘KBS Drama Awards’ for his role as ‘God of the Workplace’.

-It saved my life.

“that’s right. I guess everyone has a moment of destiny. It’s presumptuous to say this at this age, but everyone faces challenges in life. That’s not even once. But I think it also comes with a chance to survive that fate.”

-Work has a mysterious power.

“that’s right. And I am that simple. (laugh)”

-On the other hand, have you ever doubted that ‘acting is not the path for you’?

“Well, I probably didn’t really like acting until around the mid-90s. “At that time, I was often told that I mightn’t act.”

-Has there ever been a time like that?

“sure. (Laughs) I also think that acting is not suitable for me. No, I try so hard, but it doesn’t seem to be improving, and they even say I can’t do it. But with Sinabro, the process became more interesting. Of course, I still work very hard. That’s enough to be confident. “There is probably no other actor who works as hard as me.”

-They say you can’t eat or sleep when you’re working.

“Eating is something you have no choice but to control. I didn’t sleep. But now I try not to do that. “I didn’t know until now that sleep was very important for health.”

-The audience or viewers don’t know how much you immerse yourself in preparation.

“There is no need to know. Because the audience or viewers see the results. I think it’s natural. Can you say, ‘Actually, I tried this hard’ or ‘There was a situation like this, would you please understand?’”

Actress Kim Hye-soo in the drama. From the left, reporter Park of ‘Style’, Geum-ja Jeong of ‘Hyena’, and Hwa-ryeong Lim of ‘Shuroop’. Hankook Ilbo file photo

-People say this a lot. ‘Kim Hye-soo is a praise master.’

“I am a person who wants to share good things. Whether it’s information or knowledge. There’s nothing to lose by sharing good things, right? The same goes for good words. I believe in the power of words. How much inner strength can be gained from a single warm word. And what a great motivation it is to the other person. It’s not like you can save money by just holding on. “I have experienced this many times.”

-Do you have something like that for yourself?

“I have an older sister whom I have been close with since my 20s. I also met her on her birthday this year. That’s what her sister tells me. She said, ‘Hye-su, I learned love from you.’ She talks regarding her sister generously. To me, my sister is like the ‘hometown of my heart.’ She is a person with a heavy feeling. Except for special occasions, we probably met every other birthday and talked regarding it. Same thing, but she knows her sister means it every time. “It’s great that she can give and receive words like that.”

The feelings of younger female actors toward him are special. Son Ye-jin said, “Senior Kim Hye-soo has been an actress for over 30 years, and she has never been out of the public eye. “I wonder where that strength came from and whether I can do that too,” she once confessed. Referring to him, Han Ji-min said, “A senior who always sets a good example for me,” and Cheon Woo-hee said, “He is a senior who always gives me strength and an actor I want to act with.”

He has already become meaningful by his very existence. It is history, proof, consolation, support, and utopia.

What was her fuel to reach the current symbol ‘Kim Hye-soo’?

◇’There is a need for actors like me’

He said, “A work is ultimately all regarding the meaning you thought it had when you started it,” and “It doesn’t necessarily have to win an award or be a box office hit to be meaningful.” ⓒPhotographer Kang Young-ho

“No one is perfect. Maybe it has a small hole like this Gyeyoungbae. In fact, even as a mother of the nation, I have a lot of holes. “If you are satisfied with yourself, you will live well even if you do not fill yourself up.”

(Drama ‘Shuroop’, Lim Hwa-ryeong)

This is when he finished the movie ‘Miok’ in 2017. In the early morning following the friends I had invited home returned, the movie ‘Secret Sunshine’ (2007) was being re-aired on the TV that someone had turned on. Even though I had only seen this work once, I was hooked. A different feeling arose than when I first saw it 10 years ago.

After seeing the subtitles go up, he got up and went out to the veranda. It was the dawn of midwinter. The sound of the movie and the cold air mixed together to wake his brain.

“Yes, acting is done by people like that. “You’ve worked so hard all this time.”

I also patted my head. “You really did a good job.”

-What was that feeling?

“It occurred to me that acting is something that amazing people do. It was amazing. I’m not being sarcastic, I’m serious. I thought that what I had done so far was wise. Other people don’t know, but I know how hard I worked. ‘You worked really hard for this. How have people like that been able to persevere in their acting without bursting out in laughter and without showing off to others? I’m proud.’ “That’s what I thought.”

-Did you feel sorry for yourself?

“It wasn’t a feeling of sadness or self-deprecation. She felt refreshed and refreshed. I never expected the day to feel like that would come. It felt good. ‘I’ve done my best so far. That’s enough. Do I really have to come in first place? Do I really need to find some meaning? That’s enough.’ “That’s what I thought.”

If the screenplay for the movie ‘National Bankruptcy Day’ (2018) had not come into his hands, his filmography might have ended there. He said, “When I saw the scenario, I felt my blood rushing to my stomach. “It’s the first time I’ve felt that way,” he said. The stimulus that the movies ‘Secret Sunshine’ and ‘National Bankruptcy Day’ gave him is directly connected to his ‘reason for acting.’

-What does acting mean to you?

“Acting is something I devote a lot of time to, and it is a very big element of my life. To the point where adding the modifier ‘whether you want it or not’ is meaningless. It was a crucial process to reach who I am today. I grew up through acting. There is no need to distinguish between my time as an actor and my personal time.”

-Why have you continued to act until now, and what is the force that made you do that?

“I wanted to find a cause for myself. That cause means something to me. Meaning that defines my time. You said that you lived without any control over your time for a long time since you were young, right? So time is very, very important to me. ‘Apart from my teenage years, I devoted most of my youth to acting, so what is the meaning of that time?’ I have been extending this time to find the meaning. “I think it was like that until I was in my 40s.”

-So did you find it?

“I ended up here because I failed to find its meaning. It may be that I have new eyes to look at myself. I wanted to know what kind of actor I was during the time I poured into acting. Not ‘the me that others define,’ but ‘the me that I define.’ If I had only known that, I might have quit right away. There’s something actors often say. ‘Being an actor is very difficult and painful. But a moment of joy brought me here. I’m satisfied with that.’ But no matter how hard I try, I can’t feel it.”

The feeling of regret and sorrow was evident in his eyes and expression.

-You’ve probably heard that a lot, but isn’t it because you look at yourself so calmly?

“Other people say, ‘Why are you so humble? Why are you so mean to yourself?’ But I’m not like that. I really don’t know. It’s not reachable. I really want to feel (the joy and meaning of acting), but I desperately need it. I’ve had similar feelings before, but it was too brief. “It was so fleeting that I thought, ‘Is this right? Is this right?’”

-Did you ultimately fail to find meaning?

“Yes. But then I came to this thought. When I watch the scene I acted out on the monitor, I become very cynical. At some point, I felt something like that while monitoring. ‘Ah, I am such an actor. It’s regarding 20% short. Yes, there should be actors like this. This is my uniqueness.’ “That’s how I came to accept myself.”

– Did anything change following that?

“I feel a little more comfortable. Even though I keep thinking, ‘Why can’t I die?’ I feel very sorry for myself, and I hate myself so much, but that doesn’t mean I give up, and I admit, ‘I’m just this kind of actor.’ Should I call it training to recognize myself, or should I call it a process of renewing myself? I think it’s been a few years since I got into that stage. But this is also pretty good. “It feels like they see me from a different perspective.”

◇Success or failure of the foundation as a result? The process is everything

He is a person who believes in the ‘power of words’. Even when he answered, he struggled to find the most accurate expression. ⓒPhotographer Kang Young-ho

“Never take things for granted and always look at the world with enlightened eyes.”

(Movie ‘National Bankruptcy Day’, Han Si-hyeon)

-I once said, “Being an actor or acting can’t be my everything, and in reality, that’s not the case.”

“I still think that way. An actor literally can’t be everything to himself, right? It’s dangerous to feel that you’re great just because of your career as an actor or the trophies you’ve received. Learning is just a job. However, it is a job where others know the face. Actors are sometimes described as ‘artists’, but I am a person who works hard at acting and I also like art, but I have never thought of myself as making art while acting. I just did my job to the best of my ability. He even has good physical strength, so it would probably be difficult for him to be more conscientious than me. haha. I don’t have much natural talent, so I have to be sincere. I’m glad I realized that, even if it was too late. “It’s regarding being sincere and having fun.”

There is no growth without sincerity. Even if we respect his harsh self-assessment that he is “an actor lacking regarding 20%” or “has no natural talent,” few people would disagree that he is a ‘growing actor.’ Also, is it easy for an actor at the top to grow? Growth is inherently possible when starting from a high level, the greater the effort required to do so. So, how fierce must this actor have been in an unseen place?

-Movies and dramas are a team effort.

“that’s right. ‘The process of being together’ is everything. On a small scale, my team and I, and on a large scale, the entire work we do together. As soon as it starts, we go together. To do that, each person must do their part well. Do you feel a greater sense of responsibility because you are the main character? I don’t have time for that. Actually, I’m busy doing my own thing. You have to do that if you don’t want to become a bad person on the team. If someone in the team doesn’t do their part properly, there will be a rift, and then the ‘togetherness’ won’t work. Whether we play a lead role, a supporting role, or a minor role, we are all just actors. “It’s really important to me that ‘we’ go ‘together.’”

-I’ve only played leading roles most of my life. So I think there may be a side to it that we can’t see.

“So I always try to think like this. ‘Is that really all I see?’ Anyway, because I am ‘Kim Hye-soo’, everything is good to me. My attitude toward supporting actors or minor characters who appear with me may be different. So, I don’t judge people by the way they treat me. In some ways, I am one of those people who only sees good things in the work process. He is a person who cannot see (the difficulties around him) or is prone to forgetting them. However, it may be too presumptuous to hastily talk regarding the difficulties of supporting or minor roles. “You might think, ‘You’ve only seen a little bit of this, so you know what.’”

‘Leader complex’, if there is such a word, he is an actor who at least tries not to fall into it.

-After choosing a work, are there times when you think, ‘Oh, I chose the wrong one?’

“Oh, there are a lot. But ultimately, I don’t think it’s up to me to decide whether the work is successful or not. It may all be different depending on criteria such as profit, critics’ criticism, and public opinion. But I don’t really care whether others call it a success or a failure. Success doesn’t make you feel good, and failure doesn’t break your heart. If I didn’t do my best while working on a piece, or if I mightn’t overcome something, I may reflect on that. The process is important to me. “The process is everything, the result is not mine.”

-What are the criteria for selecting works? Has it changed?

“It’s different every time. Of course, I can’t remember everything. In the past, I felt like I had to work with a famous director or with a famous actor so that I might improve further. I also thought that the breadth of my acting would increase if I changed the role. But it wasn’t. The most important thing is ‘my heart now’. At that time, including my emotions, physical condition, and surrounding circumstances. So I always stay faithful to the moment.”

-You said that you value people as well as time. There may have been failures in personal relationships or relationships.

“I learned that. Be careful regarding breaking boundaries with your loved ones. It’s the same for me too. If you want to see someone you love for a long time, you have to keep clear boundaries. There is nothing in this world that is free. “If something is precious, you have to work hard to make it worth it.”

While talking regarding his thoughts, he often added things like, “It may be a selfish thought,” “It may be arrogant at this age,” and “It may be without conscience.” It felt like a moment of reflection.

In fact, he is a person who is ingrained in advice and self-awareness. He said that before going to any position, whether public or private, there is a question he must ask himself. Isn’t that what made Kim Hye-soo what she is today?

◇Growth is the reason for my existence

After finishing the movie ‘Smuggler’ and the drama ‘Shuroop’, he spent the first half of the year resting. He said, “The ‘burnout’ that occurred at the beginning of the year has been resolved to some extent.” ⓒPhotographer Kang Young-ho

“Let’s live each day with an edge.”

(Drama ‘Style’, Reporter Park)

When you type ‘Kim Hye-soo’ on a portal site, there is a modifier that follows. It is ‘confident’. “An icon of confidence”, “Charming of confidence”, “An actor with beauty of confidence”… .

She is a role model for many women. For decades, the only event where a woman has maintained the position of main MC and a man has been a sub-MC is the ‘Blue Dragon Film Awards’, where she is the only event where she is the main MC. He is unique everywhere.

Where did his ‘confident attitude’ come from?

-When the public thinks of ‘Kim Hye-soo,’ the first thing that comes to mind is confidence. How was that attitude created?

“That horse has followed me since I was little. I didn’t make it. You can’t be confident just by making it. There’s no reason why I shouldn’t be confident, but there’s no need to be confident all the time. And what, am I going to be confident every time? (Laughs) But this is really important to me. Am I qualified to go to that position, whether public or private, and am I prepared? I think regarding this all the time. It is an important driving force that moves me. “When I return from work, I ask myself, ‘Did I do it with the qualifications?’”

-You have already been confident since ‘Kim Hye-soo’s Plus You’, an interview show that lasted until its 100th episode. She was only twenty-eight years old at the time.

“It was like that. I really enjoyed hearing people’s stories on that program. In other words, it’s a place to listen to people who are qualified to come out and talk. It was great luck. And at least one person every week. “At that time, I wrote a journal.”

-It’s a journal, right?

“I discovered it while moving. It wasn’t just a record of who came out and said something, but I wrote regarding how those words affected me. It was a time for me to reflect on myself through the words of someone with some qualifications. “I really liked that.”

The most important things to him are time and people. ⓒPhotographer Kang Young-ho

There was something I wanted to ask him when I met him. This is a short video that was recently highlighted on Instagram. This is a scene where a teenager sits side by side with actress Ha Hee-ra of the same age, wearing a swimsuit at a swimming pool and being interviewed. The male interviewer, whose voice only appears, asked: “Can you reveal your size? “Not your shoe size.” This is clear sexual harassment.

The girl Kim Hye-soo wiped the smile from her mouth for a moment with an expression of shock and stared at the male interviewer. Soon he smiled and answered, “I don’t know.” With the cameras rolling, was there any more response than that? In the video, there were critical comments such as “uncivilized questions” and “angry sexual harassment,” along with exclamations such as “Hye-soo, who has been wise from a young age even in the face of rude people,” and “starting with subduing her with her eyes.”

-Have you seen that video?

“I watched it because my friend sent it to me. At that time, such things (sexual harassment comments) were rampant. Anyone with children our age would ask that question, right? I said it with a smile at the time, but it was a violent question. It’s not just that person’s problem, it’s a problem for society as a whole. “It’s not that Kim Hye-soo staring at you for just over a second is amazing, but it’s a video that shows that era.”

-I heard that you usually have study groups.

“We held two discussion groups. It was a meeting mainly to discuss social and environmental issues. We also recommended books to each other that we read and liked. I took classical music classes for regarding 10 years and popular music classes for regarding 5 years. “I also continued to take lectures on humanities and popular culture.”

-It’s amazing that you can even attend lectures during your busy schedule.

“I tend to take lectures regularly when I’m not filming a project. No, even during the filming period, if you feel like ‘I can’t do this’, as if your blood sugar is dropping, you have to come to the lecture. My ears are always open to good lecture information. (smile)”

-You also said that when you open your eyes in the morning, you read political and social articles first.

“In the past, we read news through paper newspapers, but these days, we read news on smartphones.”

-Debate meetings, lectures, even news… Why live with your eyes and ears open?

“Okay, this is fun.”

It occurred to him that the desire to grow was close to instinct. Well, all of that would have created ‘Actress Kim Hye-soo’.

◇The value of failure, the driving force of life

“There are times when I encounter myself that I don’t even know. “Sometimes it feels like it’s me, sometimes it doesn’t.” This is the mysterious charm of his acting that he talks regarding. ⓒPhotographer Kang Young-ho

“Wouldn’t it be better to try even if you mess up than to regret not trying?”

(Drama ‘Signal’, Cha Soo-hyun)

Directors who have worked with him have something in common. I am amazed at this actor’s sincerity. Director Han Jun-hee, who debuted with the movie ‘Chinatown’ (2015), once said this. “(Actress Kim Hye-soo) sent 100 photos a day when deciding on a costume concept suitable for the movie, and we discussed and thought regarding it together. And what we came to an agreement on was, ‘The important thing is that I don’t want it to be cool.’”

-If you put that much time and effort into each work, I don’t think you will have any regrets or regrets.

“Not really. Then you can be happy. It’s not that much, but would you say it’s similar? To say that it is similar (to the level of pouring everything to the point where there are no regrets or regrets) is like having no conscience, but at that moment, you pour everything. I really do my best. However, you cannot know your own limitations. There may be a moment when I encounter my limits in reality. “In some ways, that’s a blessing.”

Whenever he prepares a work, he collects materials of interest even if they are unrelated to the work. Although the external hard drive was damaged while moving, the amount of data accumulated was in terabytes.

-The amount of data collected is enormous.

“By era, I personally like a lot of material from the 1920s, 50s, and 70s. I collected data mainly on people who were influential or interested in each field, including writers, painters, architects, and politicians. Music, art, architecture, furniture, lighting, interior, fashion, events, accidents… I really like to collect and look at information that interests me, not just for the sake of it. “It’s an old hobby.”

-You study regularly on a regular basis, and when you work on a project, you search for materials more passionately and concentrate on it. Do you get tired of it? Have you ever thought, ‘It’s so hard that I can’t do this anymore’?

“Aww, I can’t imagine living with that attitude. “Work or not.”

Actress Kim Hye-soo in the movie. From the left, Madam Jeong from ‘Tazza’, Papsi from ‘The Thieves’, and Choon-ja Jo from ‘Smugglers’. Hankook Ilbo file photo

-Is there a work you especially can’t forget?

“I can’t forget all the recent works. I just don’t remember the old works because they are so old. Among the works made in recent years is ‘Signal’. I learned a lot from director Kim Won-seok. I worked hard before ‘Signal’ and did my best then as well. But I knew I was just doing my best. The best doesn’t mean I set a line and stick to it. From then on, I began to have an inner joy of renewing myself to do my best.”

-What did you learn from director Kim Won-seok?

“There are so many different things. For example, it is true that the director must oversee the entire work. But that doesn’t mean you can know everything. For example, there are so many parts such as music, sound, editing, recording, and materials. But this person is involved in everything. If you don’t know, learn. When I’m working on a project, I usually ask the director, ‘If I have an idea that comes to mind, can I send it to you via text message? If it’s too late or too early, you can sleep so you don’t have to answer. “I’m sending it to you in case I forget it later,” he asks. Well, most directors say it’s good. However, whenever director Kim Won-seok sent a text message, whether it was 3 or 4 in the morning, he always responded immediately. It was unique. That means not sleeping. Also, if you give an opinion, whether it’s editing or music, ‘Why don’t we do it this way?’ they say, ‘Oh, that’s why we did it this way.’ I mean, I know everything. When I saw that, I realized, ‘Ah, this is the best thing to do.’ For director Kim Won-seok, that was natural. That’s when he woke up. At the same time, my attitude towards work changed once once more. “Yes, you are just doing the basics.”

-Isn’t the basic level too high?

“People are like that. When acting, you want to play the main character, and reporters also want to write the main article if possible. But to do that, you have to endure it. If there are not enough assets to do so, they must be made up. Without doing that, you get money, love, praise… Where in the world is there a job like that? That doesn’t make sense. If you’re lucky, you might be able to do that for a while. That can’t happen for nearly 40 years. So for me, that’s basic. I am truly thankful that I was able to act for this long even though there are many actors who are much more capable than me. “Even though I am an actor who grows so slowly, I am able to act for such a long time.”

-Speed ​​is not important, what is important is the fact that you are growing.

“If I don’t grow up, I’ll die. Growth is the most important thing. I am a person who needs some positive stimulation and influence to live. I feel alive only when I grow even 0.1 mm. If you’re stagnant, it’s like being dead. So what’s important in life is not ‘whether you’re happy or unhappy,’ but ‘whether it’s fun or not.’”

-What is failure? If we define it through Kim Hye-soo’s own experience and language.

“Failure at least means ‘I did it.’ That’s important. What’s in your head? Just saying things? It’s not important. I have to do it. It’s okay to fail. A person who fails is much better than a person who has no failures. Because failure is a possibility. Even if you make mistakes and fail, they ultimately become the driving force of your life. I am a person whose goal is growth, not success. “He is a person who feels joy there.”

He said he once heard criticism that “Kim Hye-soo looks more like the character.” Is that a bad thing to say? I thought regarding it. Maybe the public doesn’t love her because it’s a role that ‘looks like Kim Hye-soo’.

Artist Kang Young-ho, who took the interview photo on this day, has been his friend for 14 years. They first met in 1999, but became friends in 2009 when he visited Kang’s solo exhibition. He claims to be the master of ceremonies at Kang’s wedding and also attends lectures.

Author Kang said: She said, “Throughout her photography career, she has worked with many entertainment industry figures, but Kim Hye-soo is the only person she has maintained a relationship with to this day.” She asked what he thought the reason was. He answered right away. “Usually, when celebrities end their careers, their relationships end. Hye-su wasn’t like that. She contacted me first and took care of it first. She treated me like a human being, not a business. “She’s not the type of person who meets someone out of necessity, she is Hye-soo.”

It was also thanks to Hye-su that I was able to do this interview. He said of ‘Failure Chronicles’, “It’s an interview series that I like so much that I read all the comments.” While preparing for the interview, we discussed and exchanged ideas for several months regarding the topic, time, location, and photos. It is entirely to his credit that I was able to enjoy the pleasure of such a process for the first time in a long time. Nevertheless, he said, “Even right before I came out for the interview, I was wondering, ‘Do I have the qualifications to be on this corner?’”

He asked, ‘What kind of actor am I? He said he failed to find an answer to the question, ‘What is the meaning of this time I poured into acting?’, but the answer seems to be engraved in this interview. The meaning of ‘actor Kim Hye-soo’ lies in ‘person Kim Hye-soo.’

he said “If I hadn’t become an actor, I would have had a fun life. By ‘gathering’ good people together.” ⓒPhotographer Kang Young-ho

Editor’s note

Just as history is a narrative of winners, our resumes also contain only success. But how many times do we fail in order to bear the fruit of success? ‘Life – Season 2’ attempts to record failure. The intention is to rewrite the definition of failure. We all fail. I’m still failing countless times. My failures and your failures are special, even though they are nothing special. This is the ‘Failure Chronicles’ that compiles the times of failure.

Kim Ji-eun Senior Reporter luna@hankookilbo.com

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