Test: Is your baby photogenic enough?

2023-08-31 17:27:35

Ignoble question ?
Or the initial questioning of each parenthood project that holds up to a minimum? “Okay, we make a baby, but if he’s ugly, what do we do with him? » Technikart is here to help you.

EDITOR’S NOTE_
Our Baby of the Year Award goes unquestionably to the Fox family: Julia and her child Valentino – here at the FW in Milan, in full denim.

Aaaaaah the adventure of parenthood… surely the most beautiful thing in the world, right? But imagine for a moment that your child did not inherit his mother’s light blue eyes and his father’s advantageous hair implantation. Imagine that your friends don’t answer when you ask them if your baby isn’t too adorable. Imagine if, in the end, the fruit of your womb just wouldn’t look good in your photos? Calm down. Catch your breath and reassure yourself with this test.

1) YOU MOMANAGE HIS INSTA TO 140 FOLLOWERS
When you saw the money generated by the micro-starlets who put their baby’s diapers on the networks, the idea crossed your mind. (We’re not blaming you.) After a very kitsch gender-reveal vlogged entirely on Twitch, @Babylove75 is showing up. Rub your hands: the business can finally begin. Get inspired by Carla Moreau, the Kris Jenner version G20. Thanks to sponsors and partnerships, his daughter Ruby can afford a nice little house in the Luberon. And your child? What does it bring you? Eh ?

2) YOUR BIRTH GIFT: PHOTOSHOP PREMIUM
Do your relatives imply that your toddler is more piglet than cherub? Prove them wrong! A little bit of smoothing, rubber, lasso and you’re done! Your baby finally looks like the Prince George you deserve. No need to feel guilty, everyone insta-world does it.

3) YOUR CHILD IS A SUBTLE MASHUP OF BENJAMIN BUTTON AND CHUCKY
Scouted in the street by a headhunter, your offspring will finally make your forgotten dreams come true: “Your baby has a really special face, it’s going to look great on the screen. Not sure if that’s a compliment yet….

4) NOBODY LOOKS HIM IN THE EYES
Stop spamming your loved ones on the family Whatsapp group with photos of your offspring on the potty. You can see no one is answering. If your child’s physique bothers you so much, wait until puberty. Ugly child will become beautiful. (Though.)

5) YOU ARE CAROLINE RECEIVER
February 2018, people titles throw the scoop: Caroline Receveur is pregnant. Caro- who? But if, you know, the former Secret Story candidate turned influencer and “author”. Five months following the announcement, little Marlon was born. Directly, the bimbo turns into Anne Geddes while Twitter ignites and announces its verdict: the child is ugly. Even the presenter Christophe Beaugrand will get started and send: “Ugly baby” by DM to dad, Hugo Philip. Pleading hacking, no one is fooled. Moral: live happy, live hidden.

6) HE DOES NOT HAVE BLUE BLOOD…
… and you are not Duchess of Châtelet or Count of Montparnasse. In your 32m2 under the roofs of the 13th, your baby has no means of exploiting his non-existent genetic heritage. Life is unfair, only the rich are beautiful! Proof of this is that the nepo-babies all end up either models, actors or singers. The less beautiful bet on writing beach books or making soporific feature films. Your child may not be the star of a series of pornographic and sectarian teenagers, but you will take him to the orthodontist anyway.

7) YOU DIDN’T ADOPTED IT
Great magic of genetics! If your baby isn’t a 10, it’s because you’re a 3 who mated with a 4. Dogs don’t make cats, if your parents weren’t beauty prizes either, don’t complain…

Verdict: If you have more than three positive answers, you are a good parent 2.0. obsessed with her baby’s physique. Head to hell.

By Fanny Mazalon

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#Test #baby #photogenic

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