2023-07-21 23:56:22
I am the elderly mother of a boy in his forties who came back to live with me following his separation from his partner. Even though I adore him, I cannot say that he is an easy-going child. I secretly hoped her latest blonde would last longer than the usual five-year average.
As she told me on the phone last week, “Your boy is not only a domestic addict unable to do anything useful in a home, but he is also an emotional addict unable to express his feelings clearly and who becomes silent when something goes wrong. »
So I find myself back at square one with a boy, now a man, but who doesn’t know how to do anything in a house. Which forces me to spend my time picking up his stuff, or else telling him to pick up his stuff. I have to put up with his coming home from work in silence and with his stubborn air some evenings, and above all not expect him to tell me regarding his day to vent. Because that, he is incapable of it, and even refuses to make the effort.
Do you think, perhaps, that I might have refused to take him with me? Unfortunately no, it’s impossible, since I’m the only person in the world able to endure him as he is, and moreover, I’m his only living relative, since his father died. So I had no choice. In my soul and conscience, I might not leave him to himself as I am convinced that he would not come out of this on his own. What do I do with it now?
mother for life
Your altruism honors you and we can only congratulate you. But in the same breath, we also say to ourselves that it is not normal for a man of this age not to be able to assume his most basic responsibilities on his own. I dare to point out to you that you should combine your offer of help with an obligation on his part to register with a mutual aid organization such as “Hommes Québec” or “À coeur d’homme”, where he might meet other men like him in order to equip himself morally as well as mentally and emotionally to move towards greater personal well-being and independence. I hope you have the courage to force him to take such a step, for his greater good and yours.
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#adult #child #distress