The Impostor Syndrome: How EL James Battled Doubt and Anxiety in the Shadows of Fifty Shades of Grey

2023-07-20 17:00:00

150 million copies sold worldwide, a translation into more than 50 languages, a whole film franchise as adaptations (which have shaken up the box office, with their billion in revenue)… Fifty Shades of grey is an empire in itself. For many, a best seller that we love to hate: as notable for its success as it is little praised for its style, how can I say… particular.

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A hell of a prize list all the same for what was originally just a fan fiction of the novels Twilight, not true ? But despite this glory, one person remains full of doubts: the author of the novel. Yes yes, neither more nor less than the creator of Fifty ShadesErika Leonard, ou E.L. James under her author name.

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In the pages of the “Times”, this one affirms it black on white: when you lack self-confidence, “selling 165 million pounds does not make anything easier“. A less innocuous phrase than one might think.

I’m in therapy now

Why does this sentence go beyond the simple framework of the sexiest book of the 2010s? Because EL James explains: “I have impostor syndrome. And I find it depressing that I can’t influence this self-doubt“. However, the syndrome of the impostor, or rather the impostor, concerns many (too many) women.

Blame it on external pressures and the injunction to have to do “always more” in a society riddled with discrimination (professional, wage), so many sources of complexes. A recent study of 4,000 English demonstrated that 53% of women had already experienced impostor syndrome during their lifetime. Mostly, in the context of their professional situation. That says a lot.

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Proof of the generalization of this phenomenon, we can unleash monster successes in bookstores which go so far as to impose themselves in Hollywood… While drowning in anguish. The author can attest to this. She further details:At the time of the success of the films I might not sleep and I was anxious. I’m in therapy now. I’ve been called brave when I’ve talked regarding it, but I’m quite a coward.”

“I am much braver in my fiction than in reality!“.

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