2023-07-14 21:00:00
Manami Hasebe, a freelance announcer who was informed of Down Syndrome right following giving birth to her long-awaited first child. Ms. Hasebe, who now actively blogs regarding her happy days with her 15-year-old daughter, initially mightn’t accept the fact that her daughter had Down’s syndrome and didn’t reveal it to anyone. , There was a time when he thought regarding suicide.
Manami Hasebe (right) and her daughter. March 2021 / Photo: Provided by the author * The official name is Down syndrome. It is also called “trisomy 21” because it is caused by a chromosomal mutation and usually has one extra copy of the 21st chromosome. Low muscle tone and often delayed intellectual development. Although it is often accompanied by heart disease, medical care, rehabilitation, and education have progressed, and recently most people are leading a normal school life and social life (Reference:Japan Down Syndrome Association HP）。
「I want my daughter to forgive me for not being able to accept myself when I gave birth.”—With that thought in mind, this series is a series in which Mr. Hasebe is prepared to face his own thoughts at the time. Part 1, where she candidly wrote regarding her feelings when she found out she had Down syndrome immediately following giving birth, and Part 1, which revealed an episode in which her husband gave her an “ultimatum” when she mightn’t be positive regarding half a year following giving birth. Both times received a great response.
This is the 3rd installment, and this is an episode regarding the mother who supported Ms. Hasebe, who had a lot of anxiety regarding raising a child with Down syndrome. What were her mother’s words that changed Ms. Hasebe’s consciousness?
“Let me raise you once more”
Since it was a home delivery, when my daughter was discharged from the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit), I took her home. By this time, I was almost a non-functioning mother. I can’t stop crying when I hold my baby and breastfeed it. My mother, who mightn’t stand to see such a situation, said, “Then your breast milk won’t taste good. Don’t cry anymore. Instead, say ‘You’re cute’ or ‘I love you’ with love.” The reason why I can’t stop crying is because you are crying, because I can hear your sad voice,” he admonished me.
Hasebe’s mother holding her grandson. September 2008, at my parents’ house / Photo: Provided by the author
Around this time, the more I cried, the more my mother seemed to suffer the most. Then one day her mother said,
“The reason why you can’t accept this child’s disability is because I didn’t raise him well.Let me raise you once more.I’ll raise you and your baby」
When I heard these words, I felt sorry for my mother, who had done her best to raise me. At the same time, she said, “She is no match for such a strong mother.” So now I decided that I had no choice but to let him grow up with me.
Until then, as the eldest daughter of three siblings, I was rather a dependable person in my family, but at this time,She’s a big sister, but it doesn’t have to be strong, it’s okay to show your weaknesses, it’s okay to rely on your familyI was made aware of this, and I felt as if the tense things were loosening.
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