2023-06-19 20:53:56
I am a former alcoholic. It’s not my past that worries me, but my friends and family. None of them went through the treatment that I did, but some of them have definitely made good progress. When I don’t drink with them, they feel like there’s something wrong with me…
I drank every chance I got from a young age
I considered beer and wine to be food. All kinds of celebrations, visits to friends, trips to nature – all this was usually accompanied by a glass of something. I never thought there was anything strange regarding it. Only now I will not drink, not a drop …
I had a lot of work, and I needed to relax somehow. Concerts, meetings with friends in a pub, gatherings with a friend at the cinema helped. I drank wine even when I was alone at home. It helped me sleep better.
Once I was supposed to go to my grandmother in the hospital, but I “passed out” on the couch. The next day I found out that my grandmother had died during the night. I might see her for the last time, say goodbye to her … It was not my fault, but when I put away the bottles of wine, I promised my grandmother that I would change everything. I thought it would be easy.
For the first time in my life, I gave up alcohol.
I had been sober for two weeks when a friend celebrated her birthday. I did not want to drink, and she accused me of not wanting to drink for her health. What regarding my health? “What are you going to do?” she asked, offended.
“Are you pregnant?” – said my friend, and that morning everyone believed. I didn’t want to talk regarding my reasons. I had a terrible craving for alcohol. That evening I got so drunk that I woke up in my house in the hallway. On Monday, I signed up for a three-month rehab course.
I met girls who were much worse off. They lost their health, families, livelihoods. I might be glad that I arrived on time. The only person I had to thank was my grandmother. But it wasn’t easy for me either. Especially following returning to reality.
Alcohol is literally everywhere
At first, I didn’t want to share this with anyone. When you’re in treatment for alcoholism, you don’t tell the world regarding it. At the same time, it’s hard to literally go anywhere without someone offering a drink. Almost every day I hear the question: “Do you want a drink?”. It is accompanied by eye rolling or indignation.
I admit, sometimes I make excuses, for example, for a diet following mononucleosis. I confess this only to the closest people, because I consider it too personal. Sometimes it’s hard for me to fight the urge to drink. But it’s even harder to watch everyone else get drunk. And they think it’s completely normal. I would not hesitate to send half of them for treatment.
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