2023-06-18 08:43:00
Sometimes, the durability of a romantic relationship depends on a few things … and all it takes is a misunderstanding, one word over the other, or a hot reaction to cause a breakup. In an article published in the journal CNB Make It, psychologist Cortney Warren, trained at the prestigious Harvard University, identifies 8 sentences that lead to a breakup.
The toxic phrases that cause the breakup
“Stop asking me if I’m okayeverything is fine” (when it is not).
Often, the one who expresses himself in this way is simply not ready to share his problems, his doubts, his questions with his romantic partner. So far nothing frightening, but it is the turn used that poses the problem. By adopting this passive-aggressive formulation, – in addition to a largely excusable little lie – we reinforce insecurity and complicate verbal exchanges. Instead of ignoring the issues, Cortney Warren instead advises another wording: “I’m really upset, but I’m not ready to talk regarding it yet.” Simple and efficient.
“It’s over between us.”
Whether you really mean it in the heat of the moment or not, threatening the other person with a breakup or giving them an ultimatum is not really a good idea. This will create a feeling of insecurity and break the mutual trust necessary for the sustainability of a strong and stable relationship.
Disrespect harms lasting relationships
“You don’t deserve me.”
What transpires through this sentence? The contempt of the one who pronounces it towards his partner. Is the objective of the one who pronounces it is to make the other feel that he is inferior? That it is worth less?
In the heat of the action, do we get lost in thinking it? Better to turn your tongue 7 times in your mouth than to express it. However intense the dispute, this form of insult will never be a saving, useful or even justifiable word. Never. We just press a little more on the fracture that is created within the couple.
Wounded, stung…words tend to overtake our thoughts. By saying “I hate you”, we are going too far. And we take the risk of letting doubt creep into the mind of the other. A deceitful doubt, which, once well established, will not be so easily dislodged…
“you are a bad parent.”
Certainly, we do not always agree on the education of a child. It prevents. According to Cortney Warren, “language that exploits these vulnerabilities isn’t just hurtful – it undermines trust by taking someone’s weakness and using it” once morest him. Worse, we feed the feeling of insecurity of the other who sees the confidence he has put in his partner undermined.
Again, this little sentence significantly affects the self-confidence of the person who receives it. Beyond being hurtful, this sentence manipulates or distorts reality, making the partner believe that he is seeing things that are not true. Moreover, it is even a form of mental manipulation that is increasingly widespread and highly appreciated by narcissistic perverts to the point that we have given a name to this phenomenon: we speak of “gaslighting“.
“When you use language that says your partner annoys you, smothers you, or generally bothers you, it suggests that their needs don’t matter”analyzes the Harvard graduate psychologist.
Read also:
10 signs that prove that you are the victim of a narcissistic pervert How to recognize a toxic friendship?
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