Thierry, from the Seraing region, experienced sexual abuse by one of his scout leaders 35 years ago. He decided to speak regarding it following all these years, despite the facts being prescribed. Thierry, now 50 years old, has a family, a job, and a good situation, but the weight on his heart with the images he mightn’t remove from his memory spoke louder. Thierry was not alone; several others were abused by the same scout leader. They felt ashamed and dirty and remained silent. Thierry’s situation impacted his life; he had two stays in a psychiatric hospital and has been on anti-depressants for 27 years. Thierry’s story shows how one’s brain can bury the memory of such events.
Céline Campanella, a psychologist at the non-profit organization “Brise le Silence,” says that it’s never easy to talk regarding sexual abuse. Fear of image, judgment, and reprisals, feeling ashamed and guilty, and hurting loved ones are some of the things that can interfere with speaking regarding it. “Brise le Silence” advocates for listening, belief, and mutual aid. People who have experienced sexual abuse can speak out at their own pace and in their own way. “Brise le Silence” is there to support those who want it.
Thierry’s objective in testifying is to support other victims. He hopes that his testimony can help someone else to speak out and to feel that he is not alone. Thierry’s story is a fight once morest sexual abuse but not revenge. His scout leader’s actions are now prescribed, but Thierry hopes that his story will help someone else.
35 years ago, Thierry, from the Seraing region, experienced things that should not be experienced by anyone. When he was 15, he was touched by one of his scout leaders. More than 3 decades later, he decided to speak regarding it, although the facts are prescribed. “It has to come out,” he said.
At 50, Thierry has 5 children, a grandchild, a job, a situation… At first glance, enough to be happy and fulfilled. But for too long years, this Serésien lives with a weight on the heart and with images that he will never be able to remove from his memory. Finally, he decided to talk regarding it. He testifies regarding what changed his life 35 years ago.
“When I was in scout, I was abused by one of the leaders of the unit. A dozen other people too, by the way. This person invited us to go out with the older ones, to have drinks. At 15, it’s rewarding, you feel great. Except that once we had drunk a little too much, he would drive us back and he would commit his acts on us“, he explains.
27 years of anti-depressants
“Many people were aware, even some parents had doubts. But nobody said anything, because at the time, we were perhaps ashamed, we felt dirty. It lasted two years, until I was 17, when I finally realized the seriousness of the situation.“.
I had two stays in a psychiatric hospital
Not having so many age differences with his scout leader, Thierry even explains having had conversations regarding this with him. “He admitted that he had a thing for young teenagers, that he had tried to seek treatment, but nothing worked. He almost managed to pose as a victim, when it was simply pedophilia, it must be said. He was a very manipulative person, who knew how to make others love him.“.
Thierry never spoke regarding these facts until today. His relatives, his family, have only known regarding it for a very short time, but he has always, sometimes unconsciously, suffered it deep inside him. “I’ve been on medication for 27 years, I’ve had two stays in a psychiatric hospital, but I always came out without really knowing what was eating me up. Now that I know it, I’ve done a job, I’m followed by a psychiatrist who helps me in the right way”.
“The brain can bury this memory”
At the non-profit organization “Brise le Silence”, we are there to support victims of sexual violence. Inside the center, listening, belief and mutual aid are the main values advocated. “It’s quite common for it to take this long to come out, although more recently, with the #MeToo or #BalanceTonPorc trends, the words sometimes come out faster”explains Céline Campanella, psychologist at the center.
“It is never easy to talk regarding it, several things can interfere, such as fear of reprisals, fear of judgment, of image, but also shame and guilt“, she notes.”We can also be afraid of hurting loved ones, those around us, because we can feel guilty of having done something wrong.“.
The release of speech is done at the pace of each and the way each wants to organize it. At “Brise le Silence”, we are there to support people who want it. “Some people will never talk regarding it, because they don’t need to, or because the brain is burying the memories. Others will want to talk, and that’s important: we’re here to receive, to hear what they have to say. Freedom of speech is important. From there, we’ll work on how they feel“.
You may feel you have done something wrong
Within “Brise le Silence”, there are also what are called “Peer-helpers”. These people are there to support the victims at times when the psychologist’s ethics limit the field of action. They are often also people who have also experienced trauma.
“I also took regarding twenty years to talk regarding my situation“, explains Ingrid, peer-helper. “We feel different, we can have problems at school, in social life, in working life. The aggressor often has a hold on the person, so she keeps quiet. But it is important not to be left alone, whether the victim is male or female.“.
A fight, but no revenge
Thierry, by testifying, does not seek to do himself justice. The facts having happened 35 years ago, he is aware that they are now prescribed. Indeed, for events that took place before December 30, 2019, the limitation period for the provisions relating to rape or indecent assault is 15 years following the majority of the victim. Since 2019 and therefore for events taking place AFTER this date, these events have been reclassified as imprescriptible.
You don’t have to be silent
For Thierry, the objective is quite different. “This testimony is for all the other victims. If my story can help someone to talk regarding it, to free their speech, I will have won, because it is difficult to live with. If it can help parents, too, who have doubts regarding their children, it would be a victory“.
Finally, despite the ordeal he has gone through and these years of silence, Thierry wants to give some advice to people who find themselves in the same situation as him. “We must not remain alone, nor in silence. We must also not remain in terror: this kind of people exist, but most people on this earth are good people.“.
The story of Thierry is both heartbreaking and empowering. Despite enduring years of suffering and trauma, he found the courage to open up and share his story. His testimony not only sheds light on the devastating effects of sexual abuse but also serves as a source of inspiration and hope for other victims who may be struggling in silence. It is important to remember that no one deserves to go through what Thierry experienced, and that there is always help available for those in need. Let us all continue to support and uplift those who have been affected by sexual violence and work towards creating a safer, more compassionate world for everyone.