Earlier in the morning, Pierre-Yves Desaive came to give his testimony. A few days ago, we met him to discuss his future speech before the Assize Court. On March 22, 2016, he withdraws money from an ATM in the departures hall. Two minutes later, the first bomb explodes. Pierre-Yves Desaive is unscathed, but he too carries a heavy feeling of guilt. Survivor’s guilt.
It is only at the second explosion that he understands that they are bombs. He remembers : “The people around me took charge. I went through it for some reason I can’t figure out. I am a convinced atheist, but even today, I wonder if there is not a protection that has been put in place to keep me alive”.
When the bomb explodes “I was thrown to the ground. Near me there were children. I ordered them to stay in bed. It’s a difficult image that I remember. I was convinced that a third bomb was going to explode in the parking lot”. He finally gets up when a stewardess holds out her hand. He now sends thanks to him: “We haven’t talked a lot regarding the aircrew here, but I want to say that they did a wonderful job while waiting for help”.
This survivor also helped others around him. He remembers an older lady. For putting his little canvas suitcase under his head and putting a tourniquet on him. He explains : “I wanted to make myself useful”.
Finally feeling legit
Despite his presence on the scene, his proximity to the bombs, Pierre-Yves Desaive struggles with the feeling of guilt of the survivor. After leaving the airport, he is covered in the blood of those he helped. The driver who picks him up takes him to the hospital. On the spot, Pierre-Yves Desaive wants to quickly leave the place saying to himself: “the real victims are going to need the beds”.
Even today, in the courtroom, he thinks of the victims who had to testify and who finally gave up: “I give my voice to other victims. This is also why I agree to testify in the media”. And the president questions him: “As if to redeem you for not being more damaged?”. Pierre-Yves Desaive responds positively.
However, this art historian did not emerge unscathed from these attacks. He explains modestly: “I suffer from post-traumatic stress. I also have suicidal thoughts. I spent the last New Year in the psychiatric emergency room of Saint-Luc”. And it’s not because of a state of intoxication, he slips.
At the exit of the courtroom, following his testimony, Pierre-Yves Desaive tells us that he is relieved: “I’m also very tired. I feel like I put down something I’ve been wearing for years”. And he adds: “I was afraid of forgetting to say certain things. I was also afraid of cracking, but I’m satisfied”.
Before leaving the Justitia with the close friends who accompanied him, he tells us: “This testimony before the Assize Court, that finally legitimizes me. Yes, I was there. Yes, I am a survivor. I miraculously escaped physical injury. Today, I feel that my word has legitimacy. It’s what I’ve been looking for for a long time.”
