When there are no signs of affection from the couple, dissatisfaction and emptiness begin to appear. We talk regarding cold couples.
Having a cold partner subtracts a lot from a relationship. Shows of affection are not only beautiful, but also necessary to maintain a healthy bond. The love that is felt, but does not manifest, is as if it did not exist. Therefore, the lack of expressions of affection is often experienced as heartbreak.
The most common thing is that a cold couple justifies their attitude with statements like “it’s my way of being” or “I’m not romantic.” It is also common to hear them say that the important thing is to feel love and not so much to find ways or channels to reaffirm it at all times. These and other similar statements only seek to normalize a deficiency.
Every human being needs signs of affection, especially from their partner. The raison d’être of the bond itself is affection, which is why loving aridity turns out to be a contradiction. This situation not only deteriorates the relationship, but can also have very profound effects. We will soon see the negative consequences of having a cold partner.
“He who loves becomes humble. Those who love, so to speak, give up a part of their narcissism. Sigmund Freud.
The cold partner and affective deprivation
The issue of a cold partner was addressed by professors Hesse and Mikkelson, from the Universities of Oregon and Whitworth respectively, in a study carried out in 2022. This research concluded that receiving signs of affection from a partner is essential to maintaining a good relationship mental health.
The study considered the sentimental situation of 401 individuals, whose average age was 31 years. They found that those with a cold partner felt less satisfied and experienced less emotional closeness with the other person.
Likewise, the affected participants indicated that they frequently went through periods of uncertainty regarding the future of the relationship. In general, they believed that the bond was not going to be lasting and had pessimistic expectations regarding tomorrow. This caused them worry, which often led to stress. In other words, the couple was not a source of well-being for them, but of concern.
Other effects of coldness
The effects of having a cold partner are not only psychological. Dr. Kory Floyd also carried out research on the relationship between displays of affection and physical well-being. The results of his study indicated that those who reported fewer displays of affection from their partner also had more health problems.
In particular, Floyd indicated that these people were prone to feel all kinds of physical pain more intensely. It was not uncommon for them to report problems such as frequent migraines or significant muscle pain, caused by routine actions.
Likewise, these people, in general, had more problems resting adequately. Several had sleep disorders, especially insomnia. Many felt that they did not get restful sleep and therefore showed more signs of fatigue in their daily lives.
The researcher pointed out that: “the affection exchange theory suggests that depriving a person of love can cause a well-being deficit, and prevent optimal functioning. It is also plausible that experiences of physical pain or poor sleep quality may inhibit the exchange of affection with others.
Coldness and pain go hand in hand
The natural thing in someone healthy is that they can express affection to the people they love, without any qualms. This not only provides emotional nourishment for the recipient, but is also very positive for the recipient. It releases and grants a sense of satisfaction and bliss.
Coldness is not a way of being, rather it is often an expressive limitation. If you don’t love someone, you don’t have to pretend you do, but if you love someone else, you absolutely have to show it. You do not have to talk to him like a baby, or call him “my bear” or “my mouse”, but it is healthy that you explicitly tell him that you love him and exalt the positive that the other person has.
The above is valid if you want your relationship to be strong and healthy. Also if you really love that person. As we have already seen, a cold partner not only causes a void, but also causes damage. It is not the other person who must adapt to your way of being, but you who must explore the causes of this inhibition and overcome them. You will be the first beneficiary.
The Mind is Wonderful.-
