BBC
Posted on: Friday, October 14, 2022 – 6:49 AM | Last update: Friday, October 14, 2022 – 6:49 AM
“God helps him” is a prayer for the groom, like a joke, when he turns to marriage, which is shared by many Arab societies. A joke that is not without truth… especially since our societies traditionally burden the groom with most of the expenses of marriage, if not all, for “hells.” “ By the bride.
With the gathering of family and friends and the spread of the atmosphere of joy and joy in preparation for the wedding, the couple indulges in a struggle to set the appropriate budgets for the day of the party itself, other than housing expenses, furniture, dowry, and gold offered to the bride as part of the marriage traditions.
“The young man lives on loans and checks and has to work in more than one place to be able to pay these debts, and thus ends his life that he knew,” Mohammed Al-Barghouti from Deir Ghasana in Ramallah tells us, laughing.
As for Dua’a from Ramallah, she says: “I have a 21-year-old son. If I want to marry him, I do not want to be stingy with what he offers to his bride, but in return I do not want to burden him because he is at the expense of his happiness, and he will work all his life to pay the sums of his wedding and other expenses.”
What is the cost rate?
Regarding the expenses of preparing for the marriage, Muhammad says, “Marriage according to the traditions in Ramallah costs regarding 200,000 shekels (equivalent to 60,000 US dollars) in gold and the rent of the house, without counting building a simple house, the party, the gold, and the feasts for the two families before it and others. This costs regarding 600,000 shekels. (approximately 175,000 US dollars).
As for Doaa, she explains regarding her own experience: “We asked a girl for a young man from our family, and they asked us for 150 grams of gold, and 100 grams of gold costs 30 thousand Jordanian dinars (more than 40 thousand dollars). But some ask for double the amount.” She adds: “The bride’s dress alone costs between 3 and 10 thousand Jordanian dinars (4-14 thousand dollars) to be of good quality.”
Each family’s priorities are different, as some can relieve the groom of gold, as Muhammad said regarding his father when he relieved his daughter’s fiancé of this burden.
Or dispense with artists at parties or buy “bridal wear” clothes, because clothes can be bought with time without urgency when needed and according to each season, as Doaa said, who praised the existence of the installment system for electrical appliances, furniture and others, which facilitates the situation for new couples.
social pressure
Social pressure may be a big factor in increasing the burden on the two families, even if they want to simplify things. Doaa says: “Every young man naturally wants to be no less than his friends or colleagues, but you will not be able to please people no matter what you do,” and she adds: “There is a so-called The candle is at the people of Hebron, and it is filled with a bag of clothes by the bride’s family for all the women of the groom’s family, and these necessities should be a source of pride for the one who presents them.”
In this context, Muhammad says: “We cannot cancel the lunch feast for family, friends and neighbors. For example, if my father is invited to this occasion by those who marry their children, it is embarrassing that he does not reject the invitation to them when he marries one of his sons.”
Initiatives to raise the burden
In Egypt, we heard regarding the “Let’s Live in It” initiative launched by Al-Azhar with the aim of easing the burdens on young people wishing to get married.
In the UAE, the Marriage Fund provides an amount of 70,000 dirhams to the citizen, provided that the applicant fulfills the conditions highlighted by the fact that he has a limited income, and that the husband’s age is not less than 21 and the wife is at least 18.
This is not limited to the economically booming Emirates. In a country that suffers from political and economic turmoil, such as Libya, the Marriage Facilitation Fund provides, following the newlyweds present the marriage contract, an amount of 20,000 Libyan dinars for the husband and the same for the wife in order to preserve the rights of the wife from any possible fraud from the groom.
So, in light of all the difficulties that young people face in order to start a family, societies are trying to find solutions to facilitate the already difficult life in countries that are subject to dilapidated political and economic conditions.
