The dysfunctional complaint culture is learned in family and social environments, when they only focus on the negative, forgetting to value and appreciate the good that is also happening.
The culture of the complaint has been deepening in the mind of the human being, product in many cases, of the sequence of adverse situations through which it transits or has transited. The complaint also stems from the discomfort that is felt when something or someone does not work or act as expected.
Staying trapped (or) in the energy of the complaint or in the constant claim is synonymous with resentment, annoyance and frustration that, inevitably, neutralizes the search for solutions, which, in turn, gives rise to behavior that becomes aggressive, disrupting social, work and family interaction.
You may be wondering if the solution would be to remain silent regarding what is perceived to be going wrong. The answer is No. It is regarding assertively expressing any disagreement without representing emotional wear.
Now, the complaint can be functional or dysfunctional. The first activates the assertive search for solutions and contributes to receiving the required support. The second only focuses on destructive criticism, contempt and judgment, which does nothing to solve, on the contrary, it generates emotional and physical exhaustion, affects mental health and its balanced connection with the body and spirit.
The dysfunctional complaint and its effects
The dysfunctional complaint culture is learned in family and social environments, when they only focus on the negative, forgetting to value and appreciate the good that is also happening.
These learned patterns take root in the unconscious mind and the person who remains anchored in the complaint says to himself “But isn’t it true that the electricity fails, the internet doesn’t work, the water is dirty, the streets are dirty? full of garbage, health services and transportation do not work, is not that true? It’s not that I’m complaining, it’s that I’m realistic.”
And truth be told, in general, what he has said is true, but around so much difficulty, there is another “reality” that often goes unnoticed, is not appreciated, recognized or appreciated.
That is to say, there is a tendency more to the negative than to the positive, more to the criticism than to the recognition of achievements, more to the complaint than to the gratitude. In psychology, this is known as Negativity Bias and refers to the predisposition to “attend, learn and use negative information much more than positive information” (Vaish et al., 2008).
The important thing regarding this psychoeducational process is to realize that the dysfunctional complaint works like that leak that gradually breaks the rock, which in other scenarios can be inspiring, due to the constancy it transmits. Only in this case, it works as a blocker, leaving important consequences, such as:
· Personal unhappiness, with negative moods, stressful, anxious and in many cases depressive.
· Toxic relationships, both in the family, social, work and partner spheres, due to the difficulty of living together and relating to a person who constantly complains.
· Loneliness, by virtue of which people tend to move away, avoid them and leave them alone.
· The use of victimization as a strategy to obtain attention.
· Frustration at not being able to find effective solutions.
From dysfunctional complaint culture to the power of Gratitude
It has been scientifically proven that Gratitude has a transforming power in the human being, not only in the spiritual, but also in the brain. Robert Emmons, one of the foremost psychologists in the field of Gratitude research and its positive effects, author of the books Thank You!, How the New Science of Gratitude Can Make You Happier, and Gratitude Works! : a 21-day program to create emotional prosperity, has said that “Gratitude can not only make us happier, but also improve our relationships and our performance at work”, so it is pertinent to strengthen the muscle of gratitude.
The benefits, in addition to improving physical, mental and emotional health, include a higher level of happiness, prosperity, productivity, well-being and fullness and you can encourage it:
· Keeping a gratitude journal where you write at least 10 reasons to be grateful for during the day.
· Making an inventory every night of all the good things that happened during the day and choosing the most impressive, the best of all. This exercise is super powerful.
· Placing a container or container that serves as a collector of messages of gratitude, where it begins with phrases such as “I am grateful (or) for” or “I am happy for”. This exercise helps lift your spirits when something goes differently than expected and will remind you of the blessings you have received.
· Preparing a family gratitude box. In it you are going to deposit messages of gratitude to a member of the family.
· Smiling for at least 17 seconds and during that time remembering beautiful moments.
· Walking with the sole purpose of being thankful for all the positive things that are found along the way.
The transition from dysfunctional complaining to gratitude is easy, you just need to get started!
@Yamilet Pinto
Psychologist
life coach
That informationInstantly on your cell phone. Join the Diario Primicia group on WhatsApp through the following link: https://chat.whatsapp.com/HLDh3vhmpJ5B42HUNhcIFP
We are also on Telegram as @DiarioPrimicia, join here:https://t.me/diarioprimicia
