The news had shocked the world of rugby a month and a half ago. Last January, Jordan Michallet, opening half of the Rouen club, killed himself following a phase of depression lasting several days. Sunday evening, his wife Noélie returned to the death of her husband in an interview for the Canal Rugby Club program. For the widow of the player, this interview was a way to pay tribute to the man that was Jordan Michallet but also to send a message on the problem of depression among rugby players. Noélie Michallet wishes in particular “to denounce the suffering that all players can feel throughout their career or even following their end of career. »
“Everything went downhill in a week”
Michallet’s wife first mentioned the few days that preceded his acting out: “He was going through a short week with a drop in morale, but as it can happen to everyone. He was very tired morally and physically. He had some pressure because the club was near the relegation zone but he always had that smile on him. We had just done our child’s ultrasound and he was very happy to know that he was expecting a little girl (…) No gesture, no word, no action might presume such a gesture. This gesture really represented the opposite of Jordan (…) The problem is that it went very quickly. Everything went downhill in a week and Jordan didn’t dare talk regarding it or else it was too late. »
For Noélie Michallet, the problem lay, among other things, in this sometimes excessive solidarity that Jordan maintained vis-à-vis his team: “He told me “I don’t have the right to let go of the team”. For him, it was unthinkable to have even a few days off. It made him sick to be weak, tired. For him, it was unthinkable to have to abandon his teammates, his team (…) Unfortunately, a player is always ashamed to admit his weaknesses, to say that he is in bad shape or that he is tired. I think he was afraid of judgment. »
Testimonials from other French and foreign players
In the days following her husband’s suicide, Noélie received several testimonials from players playing in France but also abroad. “Not one told me that he hadn’t had depression during his career and in fact, no player dares to talk regarding it, whether it’s to their teammate or their coach because it’s an environment where the you always have to be strong, you always have to give the best of yourself, she explains. We can play with injuries but we continue to play. We can have extreme pain during the matches but we don’t allow ourselves to leave the match. When I was told that, I realized that it was not just Jordan and I might feel the discomfort of certain players. »
Enough to bring out the idea of a more in-depth treatment of this problem: “I find that it would be really essential and that it would be a key in addition to having in all the clubs people who accompany, not to have more of performance but to prevent this kind of drama. » Noélie herself is thinking of making a commitment in this direction: « Since he left, every morning, it’s a pain to get up. It’s a waking nightmare, torture. (…) If I can find as a fight to improve the moral health of the players and that it can help me to get up every morning, then I will do it. »
