It was years ago, but she remembers it clearly, says Marion Weiser: “I was at the Christmas theater with my children, and when I looked around the parish hall, I suddenly noticed that only two of the moms looked happy. And I belonged “Not to that. On the contrary, I was one of those who looked exhausted, frustrated, grumpy and annoyed. That really scared me,” says the holistic body therapist, who runs a practice at the Elisana health center near the Elisabethinen in Linz. “After that, I immediately stopped doing the Christmas cleaning and reduced the amount of cookie baking.”
A thousand wishes for Christmas
Advent in particular is a time of almost constant expectation, says Weiser. “And I have the feeling that women are more affected because Christmas is usually very important to them. They want the atmosphere, the vanilla croissants, the mood, the joy, the family – and in the end they are so exhausted that they can’t do any of that Enjoy it, just tick it off one by one.”
But of course that doesn’t just apply at Christmas time. “The partner should be punctual, the children should be quieter and the boss should of course praise us a lot more often. We have expectations every day that don’t always come true as we would like,” says Weiser. “And if you don’t get what you want, the result is often frustration, which sooner or later robs us of the joy in everyday life.” That’s why her advice is: “Accept what is!”
“That doesn’t mean that we should endure everything, but rather that we don’t waste the time we have with insults. Even if the man has to work longer, that doesn’t mean the whole evening has to be spent,” says Weiser.
Signs when everything is getting too much
This frustration doesn’t happen from one day to the next, “on the contrary, you slip into it and often don’t notice it until too late.”
Are there any signs of this? “Yes,” explains Weiser. “For example, if you laugh less with the children – or are generally less happy, if you get annoyed easily, no longer have time to enjoy something and, for example, only eat hastily. Or of course if you sleep poorly or something else “You no longer have time to go out for coffee with friends. This shows that your resources have been used up.”
Sometimes this exhaustion and hopelessness only occurs following Christmas, says Martin Schmid from Crisis Aid Upper Austria, which can be reached around the clock on 0732/2177. “It’s also called the ‘broken promises effect,'” he says. This means that people spend a lot of energy on weekends or public holidays, for example making a special effort to resolve conflicts. “If that doesn’t work, then a feeling of unfulfilled expectations arises, and everything is as hopeless as before. The risk of slipping into a psychological crisis is particularly great.” His advice: be sure to talk regarding it and, if necessary, get professional help.
Four tips to combat Christmas stress
If you notice that you are running out of strength, you can take the following advice to heart:
- Cancel: First, see what you can cross off your to-do list, advises Marion Weiser. “So that you have more air and time for the things that are really important to you and can recharge your batteries with joy.” Many people know exactly what would be good for them, but they don’t do it. “But you should,” says Weiser, “otherwise Christmas will be as catastrophic as last year when everyone blows the whistle.”
- Deceleration: This works best through breathing: inhale deeply (activates) and exhale for longer (has a calming effect on the heartbeat). This is the simplest exercise, but so effective, says Weiser. “Preferably 50 times a day. There are so many possibilities in everyday life: while the coffee is brewing, you are emptying the dishwasher…
- Consciously plan times of silence: So turn off the radio when driving, close the children’s room door for ten minutes and consciously allow yourself short mini-breaks in your everyday life – and don’t go through the shopping list while resting, but really allow yourself to relax.
- To stretch yourself: This brings oxygen into the blood. Simply consciously tense and relax your muscles three times a day – right down to the tips of your toes.
Valerie Hader
