2023-04-25 04:03:18
A thumbtack. A simple thumbtack used to hang a map on a bulletin board. A cursed bug, probably fallen to the ground without anyone noticing. And a little Léa, 3 and a half years old, who swallows it. The end of this story is tragic. But it carries with it a promise.
Léa Durand died following ingesting a bedbug at family friends’ home in Cowansville, where she was being babysat for an followingnoon in 2020. The sharp object tore her airways and lodged in a lung.
The girl underwent three heart massages at the nearest hospital, then was rushed to the Sainte-Justine University Hospital Center (CHU). An intervention, carried out as soon as he arrived, made it possible to remove the bug. But Léa never woke up following the operation.
Sitting at the family home in Saint-Alphonse-de-Granby, in the Eastern Townships, Anne-Marie Durand and Pierre-Paul Lefebvre recount the unthinkable, every parent’s worst nightmare: the last hours of their child’s life. The death of their laughing little girl who marveled at the cows, horses and alpacas along the “garnotte path” that her mother took every morning to please her. Discreet tears punctuate their story.
“When they told us there was nothing more to do, I asked, ‘Does she qualify for organ donation?’ says Anne-Marie Durand. “Everyone froze, adds Pierre-Paul Lefebvre, a 1.90 meter (6 foot 3 inch) mirror cabinet. The nurses were surprised that the question came from us, like that. »
Anne-Marie Durand was just as surprised by this idea launched spontaneously. A notary by profession, she had expressed her desire to donate her organs in a will. Her husband too. But the couple had never discussed the subject for their daughters, Léa and Océane.
“I pulled myself together and said, ‘I’m sorry, honey, we haven’t talked regarding this, what do you think?’ continues Anne-Marie Durand. An accident, a healthy child, it rarely happens. It’s likely to be useful to others. »
Léa ultimately saved four lives, thanks to the donation of her heart, her liver and her two kidneys. “The situation we experienced is atrocious,” says Anne-Marie Durand, with reddened eyes, who wears a silver pendant around her neck containing Léa’s ashes. “But there are others who won’t have to go through that. Their children are going to be okay. »
rare gifts
Child organ donations remain rare in Quebec. “It varies between 8 and 15 per year”, indicates the Dr Matthew Weiss, medical director of organ donations at Transplant Québec. It must be said that very few young people die in pediatric intensive care. “Fortunately,” says the pediatric intensivist, who practices at the Mother-Child Center of the CHU de Québec – Université Laval.
Not everyone qualifies for organ donation. The “vast majority of cancer patients” are excluded, according to the Dr Michel Lallier, surgeon specializing in transplants at CHU Sainte-Justine. Children suffering from “certain viral infections” too.
THE Victims of trauma or accident, brain dead and kept alive artificially, are potential candidates. But the family still has to accept the donation when the healthcare team raises the possibility. “The consent rate is around 50%”, estimates the Dr Weiss, who does not have precise figures on this subject.
Faced with the pain and trauma of losing their child, many parents don’t care regarding this information regarding donation. “I remember very well a lady who said to me: ‘Listen, I signed my card [d’assurance maladie]I believe in organ donation, if it were ever me, I would donate my organs in a second, relates the Dr Weiss. But there is no question of someone cutting my son and removing his organs.” She was able to say, “I know it’s not rational, I know he’s dead, but I can’t even think regarding it.” »
Caregivers respect families’ choice, says Dr.r Weiss. But in this national week of organ donation, the doctor believes that it is worth raising awareness of this possibility.
Bereavement help
Organ donation provides “satisfaction” for “almost all parents”, according to Dr.r Michael Lalier. “For a large majority, it even helps with mourning,” he says.
That of Léa was not facilitated, according to her parents. “Me, I don’t like it so much when people say ‘Ah, there’s a bit of her that continues elsewhere,’ notes Anne-Marie Durand. No, Lea is dead. It’s finish. But if it can help other people, it has to help other people. »
Pierre-Paul Lefebvre points out that the procedures of Transplant Québec “do not change anything”. No moment with their child was stolen from them. They were able to sleep one last night with her in the hospital. Make prints of her little hands and feet. Keep locks of her chestnut hair.
During the process of evaluating their daughter as a donor, the teams showed great discretion, according to Anne-Marie Durand. “If they were talking to each other, they were whispering,” she says. Despite the organ removals, Léa was able to be exposed in a small wooden bed at the funeral home. Nothing seemed there, specifies his father.
But the mourning remained. Following Léa’s death, the parents participated in support groups at Maison Au Diapason, an organization located in Bromont. Anne-Marie Durand also consulted a private psychologist. She was haunted by the scene of her daughter’s cardiac massages which she had witnessed.
“What helped us the most was Océane,” she judges. You had to get up in the morning to take care of her. “Fusionnelle” with Léa, she reacted strongly to the death of her sister. She has long carried a framed photo of her, which is never far away. Océane now takes care of her little sister, Amélie, born following Léa’s death a year and a half ago.
Despite the difficult times they are going through, Anne-Marie Durand has a message for organ recipients: “They don’t have to feel guilty for being alive, for being happy or for being unhappy. “It’s not because you’re a receiver that you don’t have the right to ‘feel’ badly. These are two separate matters. Pierre-Paul Lefebvre calls on the population to be vigilant on the eve of swimming pool season. We must avoid at all costs that other terrible accidents – because that of Léa was one, they repeated to their friends – do not happen once more.
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